I picked the hotel as it rated highly on the reviews but for me sadly, I failed to see what the hyperbole was about.
The positives, well its a pretty chic hotel with a lovely theme running throughout, staff are polite if you can converse in french and prepared to spend and its away from the hustle and bustle of the centre. A shuttle is available twice a day and the pool area is relaxing and idyllic.
I booked a standard room expecting it to meet the most basic requirements. The standard room however was akin to a broom cupboard.. Been to better travel lodges , you'd struggle to swing a cat in this 5star luxury. There was hardly any space to move.. If you're on the larger side.. This might be the catalyst to earn you a few quid and get yourself in the local rag.. 'Hotel changed my life' instead of holding up a pair of pants maybe you'll be holding up a model of the hotel.
There's a total lack of drawers or hanging space for clothing , i was practically living out of a suitcase.. Not what you expect from a 5star..
The window if you can call it that measured approximately 1m in length x 30cm wide which allowed hardly any natural light into the room.. And it was obscured glass with a shutter. More bathroom than bedroom. With the window issue The lights had to be permanently switched on day and night.. a surreal experience if there ever was one. Not what you want from a 5star.. With powercuts being common.. Two in as many days.. getting dressed was like a game of blindmans bluff.. This was literally dressing in the dark... Running through a closet indeed..
The noise from the air conditioning and fridge was deafening.. Complimentary earshields maybe something they need to think about not flip flops. It maybe that the other rooms in this establishment i.e. the suites meet the basic expected criteria but the standard of this room was certainly not what I would expect in a 5 star hotel.
The ensuite however was of a good standard.. If morrocos version of Delhi belly is oncoming then you'll be in good company a plus negative if ever there was one..
We ate at the hotel on the first night and were extremely disappointed to say the least. The food was bland and tasteless. At £15 per dish you expect a lot more than a few olives in a boiled chicken. The lamb couscous was possibly one of the worse dishes I have ever tasted.. Maybe my palate is not for this type of food.. But the last time i had something like that I had a bib on and it was being pushed into my mouth. Michel Roux can sleep easy on this showing. It was much better spending £20 on taxis to eat at guliez ,La Place or Dinos for half the money and quadrouple the quality..or central Marrakech. The drinks again are very pricey which was expected but £10 for a mocktail? For that kind of money I want him to personally fly across the world and get the ingredients au naturale.. Not from the equivalent of Morrocos Asda price mixed with whatever..I had to check whether I had flown to Monaco instead of morroco..
On previous reviews it appears that guests felt particularly attended to, I was not asked at any point if i had any issues or grievances.. maybe they dont have any and its just me and therefore don't need to ask. Or the more salient answer was probably more due to the fact that I didn't run up a high bar or food bill.. Being a keen follower of the temperance movement it unfortunately could not be helped on my part and the food was certainly a case of once bitten twice shy..thus my custom was not particularly valuable.. To coin a Americanism they were unable to 'moneytise' me..
Take some lessons in French or italian.. be partial to ovepriced boiled caulifower and drink..Book the most expensive room and the experience will be a 5 star.. Withholding any of that only disappointment will ensue unfortunately ..
- Official Description (provided by the hotel):
- El Miria Palace is situated on one of the oldest oases of Marrakech. It was recently built in the purest Arabian-Moresque style similar to the grand vizier's residences. All the rooms of the hotel have the comforts expected in an establishment of very high standing to incite guests to feel like Sultan and Sultana. ... more less
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