Up there with one of the worst hotels I've stayed in. However, the comedy value was equal to the frustration and horror experienced. After traipsing down a gangplank on a reedy riverbank, the reception was tacky but harmless enough. The rooms though were something else. Former cabins, they were cramped to say the least. It took us five minutes to work out how to turn the lights on; none of the switches worked properly.
An old television box (satellite service, apparently!) adorned the cupboard which housed an empty mini-fridge, presumably put there to up the star rating. Adjacent to it was the bathroom. The bog roll had not been replaced. The remains of a depth charges stained the toilet basin. The door slowly swung up, putting pressure on the two functional light switches on the wall, leaving the whole room in total darkness. We were in a room facing the quayside; an unfortunate twist of fate, as people leaving and entering was tantamount to a small stampede.
The experiences of the rest of the travel party echoed similar themes. There was a poo stain on the bed sheet of one, and a spot of blood on another. No one wanted to drink from the taps, for fear of catching cholera from the river (although we were assured it was safe). Upstairs there was an Indian restaurant. Although we didn't sample the cuisine, our stomachs turned in the morning on stepping out of our rooms, the corridors and reception reeking of cheap spice.
Perhaps puzzlingly, we stayed here overnight twice. I actually booked the hotel because it looked a bit tacky and novel in the pictures, knowing it would wind up my brother-in-law. I was right: "What have you done to me?" he asked. But it was only funny for about five minutes. The second time we returned, hungover from a wedding, it was just depressing.
Moral of the story? Don't book accommodation for a laugh. Even if it's cheap, as this place was, think before taking the risk. You will regret it when you realise you actually have to sleep in the place. There are some much nicer places which are not much more expensive not too far away.
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- Also Known As:
- Botel Marina Bratislava
- Botel Marina Hotel Bratislava