We stayed here for 2 nights post-cruise and to celebrate my birthday. The location of this resort is stunning as are the common areas. The private beach is beautiful and protected from wind making it calm and perfect to swim in. Unfortunately there were a number of issues with the service that really let this resort down. We arrived early morning and were seated in the open-air lounge to wait for our room to become available. We were not offered coffee or any menu or advised about breakfast. We were then told that our suite would not be ready until 4pm but advised we could pay more to be upgraded to a plunge pool suite that was available immediately. We are American Express Centurian card holders and as such La Samanna (and other participating hotels) is supposed to automatically upgrade if there is availability. The fact that this didn't happen and then they tried to charge us was not a good start. American Express had to intervene and remind La Samanna of the arrangement. Our upgraded suite was nice but lacked real 5-star finish (there were cigarette burns on some of the furniture) and amenities (no minibar and once you used the initial 2 single-serves of coffee beans supplied you have to pay for more). Given the exorbitant nightly rate and the ridiculous "resort fees"(what are these all about and surely the high cost of the suite should be payment enough without hitting the guest with more charges and for what?) I would expect continuous complimentary coffee in the room. As for the rest of the service we experienced at breakfast, lunch and dinner - it was shockingly bad and nowhere near the standard of a 5-star resort. Just as almost every other reviewer has said, the appalling service really let's La Samanna down. I also notice that hotel management has responded on several occasions saying that they're working on improving the quality of service. I recommend they work faster and stop stop SAYING there doing something about it and actually deliver. Also, skip the resort fees, it's an insulting charge when there is no apparent benefits for the guest. I wanted to love this place because its so picture perfect but the service issues and lack-lustre suite turned it into a bad romance. Five-stars for location, 1-star for everything else.