We stayed at The Vine for one week. On first impressions the hotel looks ok, bit strange that you walk through the entrance of a shopping centre to get there. The reception area looks nice, origional and stylish. The reception staff are very very helpful and friendly. The cleaning staff in particular are excellent and provided such an excellent service. The bar/waitress staff are a different kettle of fish!
The hotel room- stylish and you have free access to the mini bar, which is mini. However, it costs to get it refilled. The shower was good, with two different heads one detachable, one not. The beds are very comfy but you are in darkness and there is no mirror in the room do your makeup, so this has to be completed in the dindgy bathroom. The hairdryer is rubbish and the cable hardly manages to stretch from the draw to your hair. It also overheats causing it to turn off. The touch screen lighting facilities are unique and appear quiet fancy but they soon get annoying. The room was very clean though and maintained well. Shame there was no balcony and the views were of other rooms, dull!
The food- not at all divine. We had a bed and breakfast deal. The breakfast is lukewarm at best. The lukewarm food is kept in these metal containers, kept warm by only a candle underneath which they only light once the food is been put in. The bacon is very greasy, the eggs undercooked, it really was awful. The orange juice was literally freshly squeezed, take a sieve unless you like bits, it was barely a liquid more like a lumpy soup. You can order off the menu but they want you to pay extra for this. If you decide on this hotel, give breakfast a miss and go to the cafe/bakery on the edge of the shopping mall. Cheap and delicious.
The drinks- ugh! The hotel has a gorgeous roof top terrace. The views are beautiful and its so pleasant up there. The only problem, the miserable, amateur staff. We were informed that they were out of two spirits, which took out half the menu!!! So we decided on a white Russian and a Manhattan. The moody waiter served us our drinks, one was drinkable one was not. The Manhattan- DO NOT go there. I had to order a lemonade to dilute the toxic solution. We nicknamed the waiter Manhattan and quite frequently saw him around the bar and for this reason did not order any more drinks. The waiters do not taste their cocktails before serving, I wonder why? Blow there head off.
Good location as you feel out of the tourist part of Funchal, therefore not surrounded by hotels. One concern on a night, a prostitute and her pimp hanging around outside the hotel on an evening. Made you feel wary especially when getting into the lift to take you to your room, as anyone can access this lift. You need your room key to make it work but if someone follows you in, you've had it! Interesting and a gorgeous roof top terrace, not 5* though.
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.