Let's say straight away that this is a very nice hotel. It has all the outward signs of five star luxury: a sweeping staircase plunging through a reception area the size of a small town; a jacuzzi hidden in a volcanic bubble; lots of starched white linen uniforms; and thumb size canapés that magically appear when you order tea-time drinks. They even have a wall covered in pictures of famous visitors.... although, ironically, the stars on the walls in many ways reflect the dichotomy facing current management (Ricky Martin's star is looking a little tarnished...).
Okay, what's the issue here? I have been wrangling with this one since we arrived for our honeymoon on Monday evening - mainly because I want to be absolutely fair. It's a little bit like being bitten by mosquitos whilst eating lobster and drinking champagne.... your little taste of luxury is just a bit soured by minor irritations.
We are on honeymoon. Our "double bed" is two twins shoved together with a gap in the middle. I have never stayed in five star luxury where I feel on the edge of a precipice whilst trying to be a tad intimate. I informed reception and, after having to stand around while reception called house-keeping, they have agreed to change the mattress (by the way... a five star hotel should immediately say "of course sir, that won't be a problem").
On our first night we ate in the Orchid restaurant.... Guys you really need to sort this one out! The waiter on service that night was behaving like Speedy Gonzales on crack. The energy he was giving off could have powered half of Puerto de la Cruz. I wouldn't have minded but it did mean he wasn't being terribly attentive, and the pre-dinner drinks order was wrong. To say the food was average would be an insult to statistical analysis. We ordered different dishes and they looked and tasted exactly the same. Presentation-wise they looked they had been constructed by a first grade cookery class, and the heady aromatic flavours one ordinarily associates with Thai food were doing a very passable impersonation of the Scarlet Pimpernel.
Other minor niggles include: no teapot at breakfast (what other five star hotel gives you a teabag and hot water to brew in the cup?); no tea and coffee making facilities in the room (this is a trick usually reserved for hotels wanting to ensure guests have to order room service); evening entertainment which is a throw back to a golden age of variety - to be fair every night there has been a pretty harmless duo but "mostly harmless" would be the best way to describe it; and what is it with the parrot pictures? Did you do a bulk purchase?
The average age of the guests in this hotel is probably over 60. And that is probably because it has the look and feel of a cruise ship. If this hotel is going to successfully adapt to the 21st century it needs to start making those little changes to service and delivery that will attract a slightly younger holiday maker.
On the upside:-
- there is a bewildering array of very reasonably priced spa treatments available
- friendly and attentive staff (just not enough of them - I suspect there have been recent cutbacks)
- great location
- a simply wonderful concierge (reminded me of Manuel from Fawlty Towers - in a good way!)
Hope this doesn't sound over-critical. It is a very nice hotel. If I was staying in a four star I would expect the above niggles - but not in one which proclaims five star luxury....
- Official Description (provided by the hotel):
- Our hotel and spa, located in Puerto de la Cruz in Tenerife, is one of the most prestigious 5 star luxury hotels in the Canary Islands. Being the only official 5 star hotel “Gran Lujo”, we offer an elegant and tranquil atmosphere. In 1998 Hotel Botanico was the first hotel in the Canaries that became a member of the luxury hotel group "The Leading Hotels of The World". Classical in style, there is a timeless grace throughout our hotel, which we carefully maintain through ongoing investment programmes. We offer a variety of luxury accommodation combined with high-class restaurants and leisure facilities, including the award-winning Oriental Spa Garden for total relaxation. Enjoy from your room or suite the extraordinary views of the Atlantic or the Orotava Valley and Mount Teide. Experience the warm culture in this authentic part of Tenerife, combined with one of the most privileged climates in the world. Immerse yourself in the incredible nature, play a round of golf or just relax on the spectacular volcanic beaches. ... more less
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- Also Known As:
- Hotel Botanico And The Oriental Spa Garden
- Botanico Hotel
- Hotel Botanico Tenerife
- Hotel Botanico & The Oriental Spa Garden Tenerife/Puerto De La Cruz