From the moment of our arrival we were insulted. Their lift was out of order so they decided to book us into a room on the 6th floor because according to both receptionists (and I PERFECTLY understood their little 'joke' when they spoke in German) "he (my boyfriend) ist eine grose" ('he is so fat) followed by something resembling 'he could do with the excersise'.
If I hadnt been so tired I would've reciprocated in a less humourous manner (and Im being kind here cos I want this to be published).

We stayed 5 nights but only had cleaning twice but we didnt complain. That is until on our final night we were publicly approached as we passed reception and were loudly tolt off that we were to be charged €60 for 'soiling' the bed. Yes, really. When she explained this in detail she described how "sometimes when a man wants to love a woman that these things happen." "I personally check every room every day" she said. Well if she did then why hadnt our 4-day-old room not been cleaned?
Almost an hour went by of her contradicting herself and in the end we gave up - you just wouldnt get anywhere with her. Then she said she wouldnt charge but that remains to be seen on next months credit card bill.

So basically, if you have any hormones in your body, if you have a PULSE, dont stay here unless you're a member of TrueLoveWaits. Even then you really COULDNT wait unless you ask for the 3 pricey porno channels to be disconnected...

Besides all, we took one look at breakfast and ran - olives and pate, anyone?

No reception 'area' to hang out in, no bar (and the mini bar in room is EXTORTION and if you try find even the same water to replace locally you wont), my guess is that she really checks the rooms to see whats been drank so the bill goes 'ching'.

The area feels very isolated - a two mile long road with nothing apart from dodgy (and I MEAN DODGY) cafes, rug shops, estate agents and car dealers. No views, nothing, only the sound of the underground...even 6 floors up.

The beds were two singles pushed together, so I dont know how she thought we got 'up to' anything, what with the grand canyon forming the great divide between us hahahaha!

Id originally booked a place on Kurfurstendamm and when we passed it one night I was nearly in tears - it has everything going for it, even the Hard Rock Cafe.

Dont be fooled by the lovely red and blue exterior - I was, and the rooms, though modern have a really cold feel - brushed steel and pale wood set off by lepeordskin carpet...lovely...

This very tired-looking hotel (inside and out) with dirty green carpet (on the walls, not the floor!) in their 2-person lift wasn't what we expected from a 4-star establishment. Rooms are similarly fitted with very old wooden furniture. What saved me rating it worse was the FREE mini-bar. It was an extremely hot day when we arrived and the staff had left a couple bottles of cold soft drinks and beer in the mini-bar with a note letting us know they were on the house!