Despite getting the stay at a steal on Groupon, I still expected a little more warmth than the Overlook Hotel where 'all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy'. Dull would have been more comforting than this eerie time warp. The whole place felt like it was a horror themed hotel, with its 70s patterned carpets and threadbare armchairs.
The woman on reception was pleasant but not overly helpful, which is more than what I could say about the staff in the restaurant. There were 5 pairs of eyes glaring at me while I sipped the watery mushroom soup. The 'atmosphere' was tinged with the crackling nicotine stained speakers that played nothing but 50s country and easy listening. I was slightly amused by the chef and manager having strong words with each other in the entrance entirely in Polish. But that was where the hotel's entertainment ended.
On our Groupon voucher it stated we were entitled to a bottle of sparkling wine, but were only offered house white or red. Which ok, isn't the biggest deal but it is when you suspect that they pour in the cheapest plonk into their own labelled bottles as they were all already opened and when they took the empty bottle they also took back the cork. Hmmm.
The room itself was so dated and so tired it felt like I was staying in a rest home. Actually, that's a little unfair....rest homes are probably less depressing. The television could probably be dated around the early 1990s as was the rest of the decor. The finishing touches included stained curtains, peeling wallpaper and dull artwork just to give it that authentic psycho-esque feel. Perfect.
Food was less than desirable, with luke warm helpings of various meats and don't expect a tea or coffee with breakfast. That would wake up the guests too much, who all seemed as though the chef had slipped something into their mushroom 'soup'.
To give you an idea of the type of clientele this attracts, let me describe two such persons; person number one was wearing holey trackies and picking his nose in full view of everyone whilst his girlfriend poured smuggled in drinks under the table. Person number two was a rather loud gentleman who repeated his crap jokes several times and then proceeded to holler 'I think every woman here should put on a bikini and jump off the sofas' as he watched Splash! on the only flat screen in the hotel.
So if you want somewhere that will really test all your senses, this place will definitely do that! I would recommend it for a laugh because it is so cliche you have to see it to believe it.
Oh but it is very near the airport. Bonus!
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- Also Known As:
- Europa Gatwick Crawley
- Europa Hotel Gatwick