Beggars can't be choosers. Staying at the Apex International was forced on us by the location of the wedding we were attending. It would have been rude and a tad inconvenient to stay elsewhere.
The hotel has a good view of the castle and can’t be faulted in terms of its location and proximity to the centre of Edinburgh. Alas, one pays the price for such a central location, real estate being the price it is. You don’t get decent grounds, or any sort of outdoors really. And you expect at least a bit of outdoor greenery for £140 per night (and that was at a discounted rate). The premium use of space doesn’t stop there. The rather curious bar is split into two by reception. It does feel at times like you’re drinking in the hotel lobby instead of a dedicated bar.
The space theme continued in our room with little room although certainly not approaching broom cupboard standards seem elsewhere. Beds are pretty soft, enough to be a concern if you suffer from back problems.
What do you get for your money? A free bath duck. What don’t you get for your money? A safe, a minibar, a decent range of TV channels. Room boast a curious absence of light. This could be a cunning environmental trick – deliberately keeping the number of light bulbs to a minimum and using very low energy bulbs. It doesn’t work – as you cut ribbons out of yourself trying to shave in an unlit bathroom, the towels turn a shade of crimson, necessitating a towel wash at a higher temperature, negating the energy saving. You see? They just haven’t thought it through.
The biscuit police have infiltrated the cleaning staff. A few biscuits snaffed out of the tea caddy and carefully hidden in the cupboard had miraculously been returned to the caddy after the room had been cleaned.
Breakfast was a disappointment, particularly given the cost of the room, the location to good quality Scottish ingredients and the promise shown by inspecting the menu. There was a queue on both mornings we were there. Why? Because the dining room was not large enough to accommodate the number of diners. It’s back to space again. A larger dining room would have solved the queuing problem, and avoided the very cramped conditions at the continental breakfast end of the room..
The food itself was largely sub-prime: Sausages were pink and gristly looking, bacon was largely tasteless although the fat was quite good, mushrooms were the same size leading to the conclusion they were out a tin. The fruit in the buffet was certainly out of a tin. Haddock had been sitting for a while so that its once translucent flakes had hardened into white fish pieces losing flavour along the way. Kippers were sous vide, i.e. boil in the bag. The poached eggs had been pre-poached, which was fine. But the chef had not fast-chilled them in iced water after their initial poaching, rendering the reheated egg hard with a solid centre. Haggis, as one would expect, bucked the trend. Really good quality and not so much a save but more of a late consolation goal.
The toast was a curiosity – toasted on one side with the excuse that the toaster was playing up. A later excuse to another table that the toaster had broken completely was slightly brought into question when more toast arrived at our table. It was cold, by the way.
City centre hotels pay high rents and cannot afford lax use of space. But they also cannot afford to cut corners as it will harm repeat and referral business. £140 per night ought to buy the right to have a reasonable quality breakfast without having to stand in a queue beforehand. The Apex represents poor value for money – better value undoubtedly lies elsewhere. They do, however, throw a mean wedding.