We didn't stay at the Loch Fyne but we did visit it for a meal on a Sunday evening towards the end of June. I have to say ,having read some of the reviews out of curiosity at a very memorable experience, Forloppin's account had us laughing out loud as we could empathise on so many points. We arrived without a booking and were told we would have around a half hour wait in the bar, which was no problem. We asked to see the menus while we waited, they were slightly limited but the dishes it described sounded tasty. We were shown to our seats as promised and ordered our drinks and food - great, no fuss, looking forward to our meal. We were quickly informed that the wine menu was the old menu and we should have been given the more up-to-date version, they recommended a different wine, fine, no problem. About 5-10 minutes later we were visited again to advise us that the chef wasn't happy with his cold soup starter (!), could we order something else. We had a bit of a laugh and gamely tried something else on the menu. It all got slightly strange after that.
One of the waiting staff had looked particularly confused in the restaurant and seemed to be wandering around without any real purpose, this had caught our attention fairly quickly when we arrived. She popped over to our table to give us some rolls, when she looked at my partner's starter, laughed, and asked 'what's that? your dessert?' Slightly confused ourselves we explained it was a starter, and it was salad!!! It at least gave us something to chuckle about for a few minutes.
There was a table next to us which were just receiving their main meal and I had a peek to see what we could expect, I saw the waitress deliver a plate to the woman which I could only describe as beige mush. I had no idea what it could be and was astonished when the waitress held it up and asked, 'fish cakes?' I pointed this out to my partner and he laughed, content in the fact we hadn't ordered this. It truley looked awful but thought, it was bound to taste better and that was the main thing. Our starters were fine, however, as the women picked away at her meal I couldn't help but hear the slightly ascending voice from the table next to me. Apparently it tasted just as bad as it looked.
During this time, the staff seemed to be in some sort of melt down. There was bashing into the kitchen doors, followed by loud shouting, and sometimes laughter, we really half expected Manuel to come running out the doors followed by Basil brandishing a frying pan . Anyhow, when the our neighbouring table were next visited by the waitress who was confused by salad, she asked how they enjoyed their meal, she received a rather curt and honest reply that it was completely inedible and that the customer didn't want anything else, as she wouldn't trust the chef! By way of a reply the customer received a half hearted smile, shrug and off our waitress sloped to find the kitchen! Our neighbours left soon afterwards, while we anticipated our main course.
That being said, our meat, when it arrived, was quite ok, a little dry but I'm being picky! Our mash, however, should be accredited as the eigth wonder of the world, as we truly ponder on how any chef could pass it as even resembling something that should have started as a potato. It should have been mashed potatoes whith cabbage and truffle oil. What it was was a fluorescent white, wet (40% water), dish of what reminded me of semolina and tasted, worse, if at all possible. I ate two forkfuls, just to make sure I really had tasted something so awful the first time. It also has to be said that during our main course, we were asked, no fewer than 5 times, if everything was ok... which felt quite strange. By this time, apart from the fact we felt we were paying to watch a comedy rather than pay for a meal, we decided it was time for the bill. We weren't upset, more a bit stunned and finding the whole thing quite amusing. A couple of minutes after our request for the bill, whilst we were enjoying a little whisper about the goings on, I had to stifle a scream as one of the senior waiting staff, who happened to have a rather scary accent (a bit like dracula), decided it would be best to come close to my ear nearest the wall and get into the spirit of things by WHISPERING in my ear that 'the bill will follow soon madam'. That was it for us I'm afraid, the whole evening was like a TV programme and I looked around for the ghost of Jeremy Beadle, who, had he appeared, would have scared me a whole lot less than the whispering waiter with the unnerving voice.
I wish I could have provided a more focussed appraisel of our food in my review, however, the goings-on around us were so much more distracting and, amusing! It certainly provided for some funny anecdotes of our weekend away and for that we wouldn't change it, however, if you're just looking for your average restaurant experience, it's maybe not for you!
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.