In all fairness, I never would have considered an evening at this establishment had it not been forced upon me in the form of a work Christmas party. That being said, the price of this evening just isn't justifiable and could have been far better spent elsewhere given the calibre of this tacky, dingy tramp trap. Where to begin? The food was abysmal, I couldn't eat more than a bite of each course. The entertainment is tragic, dated and better suited to an eighties holiday camp. Often times, you can compensate for a dreadful experience by enjoying the company suffering alongside you but conversation is impossible in Bistro Live, the layout being reminiscent of a workhouse canteen with overpowering music that unfortunately cannot be ignored...or switched off for that matter. Unless your idea of a perfect night out is dancing on the table to songs you had quite happily forgotten existed whilst revelling in the smell of cheap gravy and even cheaper perfume, the only way to survive an the experience is to laugh it off with the assistance of copious amounts of warm, weak jugs of alcohol. That's right, jugs...did I already address the lack of class or is that implicit? If you do find yourself trapped in this place, bring a cushion as the seats are unbelievably uncomfortable, as if there aren't enough reasons to stand up and leave as it is.
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