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“Well...” 3 of 5 stars
Review of L'Artiste Muscle

L'Artiste Muscle
1 Shepherd Market, London W1J 7PA, England (Mayfair / St James's / Piccadilly / Green Park )
+44 (0)20 7493 6150
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Ranked #4,448 of 18,011 Restaurants in London
Price range: $69 - $69
Cuisines: French
More restaurant details
Restaurant details
Dining options: Reservations
Neighborhood: Mayfair / St James's / Piccadilly / Green Park 
London, England, United Kingdom
Senior Reviewer
9 reviews 9 reviews
7 restaurant reviews
Reviews in 4 cities Reviews in 4 cities
9 helpful votes 9 helpful votes
“Well...”
3 of 5 stars Reviewed September 10, 2013

I was here on Saturday 7th Sept, 2013.

First impression, it was small, too small. I understand there is a downstairs area, which I didn't seem but I can't imagine it being much bigger than the upstairs area, as I doubt the kitchen could handle any bigger. We were a party of five and seated at the furthest left corner from the door, as I mentioned it was small and the party sat next to us, might as well have been seated with us. The party next to us left after a short while, two separate parties joined and were sat even closer, leaving the people on the inside of the table barely enough room to get past the two tables. This made me feel quite uncomfortable, as I am a fond lover of my personal space and in here I felt close and restricted. Another result of the limited space was that whenever food was being delivered to our table (or plates being removed), the Waitress had to lean over myself, or the other diners and often resulting in prolonged (and unwanted) physical contact. Again, due to favoring personal space, this left me feeling uncomfortable and put a real downer on the atmosphere.

Another strain on the atmosphere, was the Music. It started off as quaint, French music, but I guess the C.D. jammed as there was a clear audio problem. Different Music was put on, but this was run of the mill Music that was currently floating around in the charts. The same tracks, roughly five to seven songs were in a loop. The Waitress had to be told twice of that fact before something was done about. Music being a key part of my life, something like this is extremely easy for me to notice and become a quick annoyance.

The menu did not offer much of a selection and what it did offer, I felt, did not cater for a simple pallet. Without sounding horrendously belligerent, I felt that I wasn't sophisticated enough to enjoy the food. This was possibly down to the French dish names (yes, I am fully aware that I was sat in a French restaurant) and the vague descriptions of the dish, it almost felt like you were just expect to 'know' what the dish was. I decided not to go for a starter, due to not liking any of the options available to me. For the main, I decided to go for the Steak, with a side of Pomme Frites. The Steak cut was very good quality, cooked a little more than medium-rare, but it was succulent, juicy and hardly any gristle, a little extra seasoning wouldn't have gone amiss though. I was disappointed to learn that when I ordered Steak, with a side of chips (minus the sauce), that was all I would get, it needed more to justify a £15 charge for an 8oz Steak and chips. To accompany my meal I decided to have a beer, whilst the party had wine. The options were either small Kronenbourg (by small, roughly 230ml), at £3.20 or a small Stella Artois, for £3.50. not exactly the best beer options, slim pickings and over priced.

Personally, I did not enjoy this place and I can't foresee myself ever returning. The other four members of the party however, couldn't get enough and enjoyed themselves thoroughly. Like me, they were uncomfortable due to the lack of space and the Music issue.

I feel that the price to portion ratio was a little off and that the venue was too small and uncomfortable to really be charging those sort of prices, regardless of its location.

The meal came to £190~

  • Visited September 2013
    • 2 of 5 stars Value
    • 2 of 5 stars Atmosphere
    • 3 of 5 stars Service
    • 3 of 5 stars Food
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70 reviews from our community

Visitor rating
    19
    29
    8
    6
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Rating summary
    Food
    Service
    Value
    Atmosphere
Date | Rating
  • English first
  • French first
  • Italian first
  • Spanish first
  • Swedish first
  • Any
English first
London, United Kingdom
Contributor
11 reviews 11 reviews
11 restaurant reviews
11 helpful votes 11 helpful votes
“Lovely food!!!!”
5 of 5 stars Reviewed September 7, 2013

Lovely food and friendly atmosphere, I usually enjoy my mussels on regular basis, would definitely recommend!!!

Visited September 2013
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This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Melbourne, Australia
Senior Contributor
30 reviews 30 reviews
10 restaurant reviews
Reviews in 12 cities Reviews in 12 cities
28 helpful votes 28 helpful votes
“Old Favourite”
5 of 5 stars Reviewed September 6, 2013

A tiny corner of Paris in this charming corner of London. It's affordable and captures all the atmosphere of Shepherd Market. A Mayfair stalwart, it never changes or disappoints.

Visited July 2013
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This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Chipping Ongar, United Kingdom
Top Contributor
242 reviews 242 reviews
134 restaurant reviews
Reviews in 84 cities Reviews in 84 cities
158 helpful votes 158 helpful votes
“Le joker !”
1 of 5 stars Reviewed September 2, 2013

Never got to eat in here !
Arrived at 4pm on a Saturday, all of Shepherds Market buzzing and restaurants open ,some quite full.

L'Artiste looks rustic and quaint but on enquiring if I could have a glass of wine and an omlette was told ...

" We only do FRENCH food in here ............. you can have wine but anyway the kitchen is shut !"


So there !!
And I love France !

  • Visited August 2013
    • 1 of 5 stars Value
    • 1 of 5 stars Atmosphere
    • 1 of 5 stars Service
    • 1 of 5 stars Food
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This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Senior Contributor
36 reviews 36 reviews
36 restaurant reviews
Reviews in 16 cities Reviews in 16 cities
20 helpful votes 20 helpful votes
“Does very little. Does that badly.”
1 of 5 stars Reviewed July 22, 2013 via mobile

Aesthetically this place looks great. Lovely little wine bar to watch the people stroll on by. Drinks menu is disappointing to say the least - 1 lager and that's Stella unfortunately. Coke or diet coke is the only soft drink. It's a wine bar you think, so this is where they SHOULD excel... a few reds to choose from... a few whites... one rose. Maybe it's quality not quantity? We had two different wines and both were exceptionally poor... bargain basement stuff. If you only offer a few things you should do them brilliantly. Not here. Service was arrogant too which is unusual for a place with wine that makes lambrini look like a quality drink. 12.5 percent service charge was the salt in the wound. Awful. Awful. Awful. London has plenty of nice bars, outdoor drinking places and quality pubs; opt for one of these instead. If you see any of my other reviews you'll see I'm generally positive and give high ratings. For me to give a 1...

  • Visited July 2013
    • 1 of 5 stars Value
    • 3 of 5 stars Atmosphere
    • 2 of 5 stars Service
    • 3 of 5 stars Food
Was this review helpful? Yes
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.

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