We stayed here for the majority of our honeymoon, Aug 11-22. First, the good things:
We stayed in two rooms, because the building we were staying in originally was having air-con problems (which we did not experience, luckily) and they shut down the whole building. Both rooms were well-appointed, always clean and warm and cozy to come home to. Great views, especially in the second room in the tower, and every room has a little balcony with chairs which was always pleasant.
The pool was warm and the deck-chairs comfortable. The staff were exceptionally friendly and helpful. The copious amounts of towels and water helped make the stay very comfortable. The selection at the bar and the buffet were good. The food was usually quite yummy. The beach was sandy (ie, not rocky like many on the island) and clean, and there were lots of things to do at the hotel to occupy yourself and, if you have them, your children.
The spa and excercise room were nice--nice to have there, and the prices for the spa services were what you'd expect. I got a massage, and it was what I'd hoped for. I tried to get a mani/pedi, but the nail woman kept cancelling, which was somewhat annoying, but I guess I saved money so que sera, sera.
Some other, Cozumel-related good things:
***Ernesto's Scooter rental. We got a scooter for a week for $100, and that includes isurance, gas (you can return it empty), helmets. My husband and I lived in Taiwan for two years and used to drive scooters, so it was easy for us. If you decide to rent a scooter and you've never driven one before, please be careful. Go slowly, and take your time getting to know how to handle it. But, should you rent one, go to Ernesto's. Very cheap, friendly and professional. This saved us a lot of money, as it's $5 from hotel to town and vice versa in a taxi, and we went out a lot.
***Blue Bubble/Scuba Shack dive shop. We got ourselves certified to be open water divers here in Cozumel with Juan, the Belizean Buddha of the Deep. He was extremely, extremely laid back and easy to understand. I am a bit of a nervous nelly but I always felt safe with Juan. We even saw a shark and I didn't wig out--just calmly watched it swim by with Juan in front calmly guiding us in the opposite direction. I think everyone at Blue Bubble and Scuba Shack are just as pleasant and fun to work with. A tip if you decide to do the course--don't buy the book. Borrow a used copy, and you'll save $50.
Before I go into the negatives about Melia, let me say that my husband and I had a lovely stay, as we usually are just backpackers so for us this was quite luxurious with all the attention and free stuff. Our room was so nice that any troubles melted away as soon as we got there. But...
The major complaint I have is that the big dining room where all the buffet meals were served and where we ate most of the time was not airconditioned. Lunch could be unbearably muggy with all that hot food and at night the mosquitos were lethal. I did not expect that, and when I imagined splurging on an all-inclusive I imagined luxuriating in air-conditioning whenever I needed to. The food was pretty good, but hot food can be a bit icky when one is sweating like a dog or being eaten alive by an army of tiny vampires.
Let me just warn you, as well, that the "fine-dining" is not fine dining. It's fair to middling, and the waiters kept rushing us through our courses which, since I waited tables at a fine-dining restaurant for 2 years, I found particularly annoying. If you go in to the "restaurant" with the mindset that at least it's airconditioned and you will be waited on, with no other expectations, you will be happy.
There are several representatives of different tour companies in the lobby, and they were kind of irritating. The prices were totally inflated--if you want to do some activity, go into town and you will inevitably get it for less. You are paying for the convenience of not having to leave the hotel.
The night show was the cheesiest thing I have ever seen. It wasn't even so bad it was good--it was just bad. Boring. Silly. We went twice, and the second time only because my husband insisted we give it another chance.
The beach water was dirty. It's true. If you rent a scooter or car, go down to the resorts on the southern end of the island. Nicer beaches, but it's a bit of a trek, considering.
Lastly, the hotel seemed to be filled with many loud, drunk Americans. I am American, and was appalled to find the stereotype we all love to hate so alive and well in the Melia. I have never been to an all-inclusive before, so maybe this is normal. People would sit at the pool bar from morning til night and not move, just getting drunker and drunker and louder and louder. I just can't imagine going on vacation and not leaving the hotel, but if you can and think that would be fun, then the Melia is surely your kind of place. I know this isn't exactly the Melia's fault, but there did seem to be an overrepresentation of this sort so I think it's worth mentioning. We were there for almost two weeks so it was not just one unruly group--it was the clientele in general.
We really did have a nice time, but I wouldn't go back to the Melia. Cozumel is half laid-back diver and half over-hyped resort destination. If I go diving in Cozumel again, I'll stay in town with the divers.


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