My family & I stayed at the Occidental Grand Cozumel from 6/29/06-7/5/06. It was an interesting and fun trip, but the Occidental Grand Cozumel is not the best vacation spot we have stayed at.

CHECK IN:--
Check-in was pretty quick, but we were not able to get the rooms we requested (we vacationed with another family and wanted to have rooms that were next to each other.) The lady that worked with us at check-in told us to come back the next day and request for the rooms then.

GENERAL HOTEL INFORMATION:--
The hotel has a nice layout-there are 9 room buildings numbered from 10-19 (Not including in the Royal Club, but I'll get to Royal Club information later). Each building has 3 floors. There are no elevators, so if you live on the second or third floor, be prepared for lots of stairs. Exercise is good for you I suppose, especially if you're binge-eating at this all-inclusive resort--but stairs can get annoying, so I'd suggest requesting a room on the first floor. The hotel also has a kids club, pretty lame for anyone over the age of 6 I'd say. There is a small playground, a small pool, and a room for activities. I'm sure your kids wouldn't really want to be dumped there anyway. There are 2 a la carte restaurants- "Los Olivos" and "Sonora Grill." There is a main buffet, "La Posada," and a pizzeria, "La Piazza." There is also a beach bar grill/buffet. I will elaborate on food later on in this review. There are 2 pools (not including the kids club one,) and of course, the beach. There is a meeting room with a projector screen-it's the height of the World Cup, so they showed Soccer Games daily. (Boo on Germany and Portugal for losing.) There is a place called "La Mision" with a pool table, dance floor, and a bar. Okay so onto the detailed goodies.


ROOM:--
On the first day, we got a room in building 10. (Closest to lobby/food, but furthest from the pools/beach) Our room was a handicap room with a handicap bathroom, so our toilet was in the shower. Seriously. When I was done taking a shower, I opened the sliding shower door and water flooded throughout the bathroom. Not exactly what I'd call a par-tay. It was already sticky and humid, so the extra water was not particularly enjoyable. The closet is in the bathroom (??) and the mini-fridge is also in the bathroom (?????). Our mini-fridge was not stocked. Nor did it work. It had 2 cans of suspicious beer in it.

Luckily, we were able to move rooms. We moved to building 14, which is in the middle of the resort complex. This room was a lot better-the toilet was not in the shower(!).
--Bathroom--
The bathroom was okay. It was marble and stone, with a glass door for the shower. The toilet had no door. The closet in the bathroom had a mini-fridge. This mini-fridge, like the one in our previous room, did not work. But, the cleaning lady did stock it with water, soda, and beer. I'd strongly suggest using their bottled water for brushing your teeth and washing your face. You never know what little buggers might be floating around in that Mexican Water, and it is common for people to get sick. The shower had very good water pressure, but the bathroom smelled like a combination of oyster sauce+sewage pipes. I'm pretty sure it smells like this in all of the bathrooms. The sink has the usual hotel amenities around it-shower cap, shoe shine sponge (but who uses that anyway...), a bar of soap, and a small box of tissues. The shower has 2 dispensers-shower gel and shampoo, but they are not exactly the best, so I would definitely suggest you bring your own shampoo and such. There is also a bath-tub, but it is very small. There are drying racks which are good for your wet bathing suits.
--Beds--
The beds are hard, but pretty comfortable. I'm not picky and I sleep like I'm dead, so if you are picky about beds, make sure you like hard ones. There are 3 pillows on each bed. The sheets are pretty comfortable, and there is a checkered felty-thingymajigger on top, along with the bed comforter. The comforter is the usual "hotel comforter that is never washed so stay away from it and sleep with the sheets."
--TV--
The TV is kind of small, I'd say about 15 inches. Not a variety of channels, and most are in Spanish anyway. Some shows are in English with spanish subtitles, but there was nothing really interesting to watch besides some Arnold Schwarzeneggar movies and World Cup Soccer (which was in en espanol anyway.) So if you aren't savvy with your lingua espanol, I wouldn't really waste time watching TV.
--Balcony--
Our balcony was really small-about 4x6 feet. Nothing really great to see, there was some iguana poop on it, and some bugs crawling around.


DINING/FOOD:--
The food was not great here. Very repetitive, and I seriously cannot eat another nacho for a while. I am not picky, but I am a vegetarian. The rest of my family is not vegetarian, however, and they did not particularly enjoy the food.

--La Posada--(Buffet):Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner
There is a main buffet "La Posada." My family & I checked in at 3:00 pm, so we opted for a late lunch at La Posada. It was terrible. We nearly died 10x over. There was no variety, no fruit, next to nothing except some french fries and guacamole. La Posada is your only option for breakfast, and is the only dinner buffet. Breakfast was excellent. Best meal of the day-great selection of fresh fruits, yogurts, cereal (Some were expired and stale, though)...there was an eggs-made-to-order grill, with a nice selection for omelette ingredients, a quesadilla-made-to-order grill (very yummy), great selection of meats (sausages, bacon, etc), good hash browns, french toast, pancakes, fresh juices, etc. I'd suggest going earlier for the breakfast buffet, as the food does run out quickly.

As for Lunch, you have two options. La Posada and the Beach Buffet/Grill. Do not go to La Posada. The Beach Buffet/Grill is okay, not so great, but definitely not as bad as La Posada. There is some fresh fruits and cakes left over from dinner the night before, and some melty/mushy ice cream. (Usually coconut and strawberry.) There is a grill for hotdogs and hamburgers, but I am a vegetarian. There is always some sort of potatoes and steamed vegetables, and some stuff left-over from dinner. (Yummy, eh?) For the beach buffet you are required to wear a shirt and shoes. The seats at the beach buffet are really uncomfortable, as you sink into the chair and it makes you feel 2 feet tall. You will also get wicker-chair marks on your thighs.

Dinner....you have 4 options. 2 a la carte restaurants, La Posada, and La Piazza. You need to make reservations for the 2 a la carte restaurants. They are called "Sonora Grill," a steakhouse, and "Los Olivos," a mediterranean restaurant. The Sonora Grill wasn't good. They took beef from the buffet and slapped it on a plate. They also took cake from the buffet. Los Olivos was great, however. Very professional and nice presentation. There is a pretty wide selection, and the potato soup is delicious. The dessert is okay. Dinner at La Posada is mediocre. There are "theme" nights, but not much variety. I ended up eating Nachos. A lot. There is a counter for some cold cuts/cheeses, not much variation in the dessert cakes and ice cream. There was rarely any fruit. La Piazza, the pizza place was also mediocre. They make homemade pizzas, and there is a really teeny tiny fruit/salad bar. Again, not much. La Piazza is on the roof, so beware of lots of critters crawling around.

NIGHLIFE:--
Nightlife is non-existant in Cozumel. There is nothing to do after dinner except go to the La Mision to play pool or roam around the resort. You will probably end up in your room, watching tv in spanish, and going to sleep bloated.

DRINKS/BARS--
There are 3 or 4 bars at the Occidental Grand. Not exactly sure about the number, but there is a bar at the beach buffet, one in "La Mision," and one in the lobby. There might be another but I am unsure about the location. Drinks were okay. There wasn't much selection since I am 16, and I hate the taste of alcohol. Basically, I drank strawberry daiquiris all day. There are also no milkshakes, which I found disappointing. My parents seemed to enjoy the alcoholic beverages, though. I tasted a mudslide and nearly puked, so I don't know how to judge.

BEACH:--
You have to walk across a skeevy bridge to get to the beach. The beach water is absolute beautiful-very clear, and very very blue. The sand, however, is not great. The sand is extremely rocky, shelly, uncomfortable. Don't be surprised if you find yourself saying "ow" often. It is very uncomfortable to walk in the sand, as it is so sharp. In the beach water, it is very shelly/rocky/sharp aswell. There are a lot of snorklers. There are no waves-the water is very very calm. But the sand is still rocky.

There are plenty of palapas on the beach, I'd recommend trying to get some seats before 11:00 am, but it isn't difficult to find a palapa with chairs. There is a towel service, but the towels are kind of smelly.

There is a dive shop at the beach, and you can go on excursions, kayak, sail, go scuba diving, etc. Banana boating is always fun, and this banana boat ride was the longest I've been on. But, banana boating is not included in the "all-inclusive", hah what an oxymoron, anyway...it's 15$/person. Kayaking and sailing are included, and they are both very enjoyable in good weather. Be careful, though, and ask the dive shop if something is already included, because the spanish guys at the front will try to get you to pay.

POOLS:--
The pool nearest the hotel room buildings is called the "Relax Pool." It is the quieter of the 2 pools, and it is relatively small. There is a small "relax bar" that serves drinks, but not a great variety. There are also showers to the side.

The main pool is across the bridge. It isn't that big, and it has a small wading area. It is 4 feet deep. There are some activities in the pool-Volleyball, Aqua-aerobics, etc. The water is very warm. I got in and it felt like a hot-tub. The sun heats it up pretty quickly during the day.

There are plenty of chairs, so you don't have to worry about waking up at the crack of dawn to fight for chairs. There are small shaded areas/umbrellas, but I'd recommend getting chairs at the beach as it is much more enjoyable. The pool has a lot of kids running around.

Generally speaking, the pools are clean and the water is very blue, but the warm-water is definitely not a plus.

ENVIRONMENT/SURROUNDINGS:--
The hotel is neatly groomed, they have a done a great job post-hurricane Wilma. There are lots of trees and neatly groomed gardens. There is also a lot of wildlife-lizards, iguanas, frogs, snakes, birds.

ROYAL CLUB:--
If you pay extra bucks, you can be part of the Royal Club. I wouldn't recommend it. The resort is nothing great. In the Royal Club, which is still on normal hotel grounds, just a part sectioned off, you get better rooms. There is a business center, and a separate restaurant (La Hacienda). There is also a separate pool with a swinging area. Nothing special. Doesn't seem like you will get the bang for the buck.

OTHER:--
-Gift shop in lobby with some nice souveneirs and reasonable prices.
-Salon/Spa with expensive services (massage, hair braiding, etc.)
-It is very buggy here! Bring lots and lots of bug spray.
-Sunscreen is a must

All in all, this vacation was fun, but certainly not the best. Wouldn't go back.