So, Occidental Grand Cozumel, one week off with my boyfriend, first vacations together, couldn't wait to go away from the 32 meters of snow that fell on Montreal this winter.
Looking for: laid-back island life, small, charming resort, translucent water, marine life (I am not (yet) a diver, but I can spend hours snorkeling) Nice mexican food.
Since I've worked on a cruiseship sailing in the Caribbean, I must admit that my criterias are high, particularly regarding beaches and water quality. I spent a lot of late nights on Tripadvisor to find the best vacation spot possible, so I promised myself to write a review back home. This is what I thought of the Occidental Grand:
The hotel IS very charming, sincerely, with a lot of spanish influence in the architecture (foutains, azulejos, domes) and vibrant colors (deep red, white, yellow) that contrast with the luscious green of the vegetation...it seems like they pluck the grass with tweezers, although don't expect to see a lot of flowers. The pizza place on the roof is incredibly romantic, moroccan lanterns under the moonlight and soft, italian music. The main bar area with two lovely terrasses is very nice as well.
Service? More than ok, the staff is helpful and smiling without being over-friendly. The staff at the reception desk were helpful, but a bit nervous and gave me an amateurish impression. In general, they seem taken aback when I was speaking to them in in a fairly good spanish, and they often answer me in english... Que raro!
Rooms then? Nothing bad to say, lot of space, beds very comfy although the sheets were a bit itchy, LOVED the enormous shower and the stone floor, super clean, thanks to the little fairy maids (please, don't forget to leave them a good tip, they work so hard).
A bit of a walk to access the beach, you have to cross a bridge over the mangrove where you can find all sorts of birds, ducks, iguanas and constantly mating turtles. Two really nice pools (one more quiet than the other, I appreciated that).
Beach: +/-... narrow, not always enough chairs for everybody, a lot of people seems to wake up early in the morning to reserve their chairs for the day (that sucks!). I would personnally expect a 5 stars hotel to keep a stack of chairs and bring me one if there is none available. The sand isn't soft, neither fine, and walking on it is difficult, like walking in the snow. Not good if you like to take long walk on the beach, which we did anyway, my toes were red from being over-exfoliated! Want to be alone for a bit? Exit the hotel territory to the right and you'll find the clearest water with no one around, not dangerous, no worry.
Water: what is Cozumel famous for and, we weren't disappointed! Extreme clarity (about 100ft), with 4-5 different shades of blue... One of the best water I ever found in the Caribbean. I was surprised to find that much marine life so near to the beach. Just put your fins and mask on and explore! Huge school of fishes, octopus, spotted eel, anemones, trumpet fish, stingrays, even a bad-guy barracuda. The best snorkeling was when it was raining, a good alternative then when the sun isn't shining. We also booked a snorkeling excursion to Colombia & Palancar reefs with La Manta catamaran, I would recommand it, even for beginners, just to understand why thousands of divers visit the island every year. Apart of the corals and always present colorful fishes, we saw one sea turtle and two HUGE lobsters. Actually, we were interested in taking a diving initiation course, but a bit scared to dive and, unfortunately, we weren't convinced by the hotel diving shop... Next time!
Entertainment: they don't bother you if you want to lay all day like a lizard, but if you are a more active type, except one game of beach-volley once in a while, you might get bored. Night-time entertainment, nothing too exciting, good music at the disco... don't miss the fire show by the pool, illuminated with black-lights, that was modern and refreshing.
What I didn't like about the Grand Occidental then?
1st: I guess it's because of the humidity, but the smell in the room was not pleasant at all, imagine the worst old man basement smell ever? I had to wash even the clothes I didn't wear back home, because they were stinky. It seemed worst with the clim on.
2nd, and most important of all: we were very disappointed by the food, and we both got very sick for 2 days. It's not that there is not enough choice at the buffet, it is just that everything, apart of the fresh fruits and salads, seems to taste terribly wrong. The morning buffet is all right, the lunch at the beach buffet wasn't good at all (fried this, fried that) and the dinner buffet, well, depending of the theme (mediterranean one was the best). Apart of the pizza place (sure bet), I tried one à la carte restaurant, Los Olivos, and apart of the salad bar and the dessert (yummy chocolate fondant), the food was so, so sad! We both ordered Chinese tagliatelle with curry and avocado, and the chef sent us some spaghetti with a tasteless white sauce... I asked the waiter where I could find the green of the avocado and the yellow of the curry, she said with a gracious smile that it was in the sauce. Huh??? I know food is a very personnal issue, but I don't appreciate to be treated like a fool. Anyway, I mostly ate nachos, guacamole, cheese tortillas and fried bananas during the week, and boiled potatoes the last 2 days after being wishing-to-die sick because of a food poisoning.
3rd: The island itself. We took a guided tour of the island: ok, our guide wasn't the best neither the most enthousiastic to cheer us up on this rainy day, but conclusion, there is not a lot to see on this flat island. The mayan temple looked like a shed, the tequila factory was a joke and San Miguel being Mexico main cruiseship port, expect to find a lot of crappy souvenirs shops/jewelery stores on the sea front and main avenue. I guess that with more time and our own rented jeep we would have found the authentic cozumel flavour we were looking for. I must say that one interesting thing about the island tour was seeing the damages made by Wilma on the vegetation... that was one hell of a hurricane.
I would still recommand the Occidental Grand for the spanish charm of the resort, the extraordinary marine life and clear water. Maybe it would be a good idea to plan an evening on the continent, in Playa del Carmen, so you can find some decent mexican food and not have to eat fried banana all week long! Hope I helped you a bit you with my self-indulgently long review and sorry for the grammar, english is not my mother tongue. Bon voyage and say hello for me to the bad-guy barracuda if you see it!


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