Ugh, where to begin?!? This is my second trip to Captain Oliver's Resort, and for both times, I could say the same... I guess, first of all the pros: the rooms are beautiful, spacey, with great views, and the hotel is situated in a very nice, quiet area. So if youre 60+ years old, looking to enjoy the view, relax and rest, this might be the place for you... However, if you're looking to make the most of your trip to St. Martin, you might want to reconsider. Unless you rent a car, you're stuck. All the main activities are, good restaurants and fun stuff, are in Simpson bay, (or Orient Beach) which is about 30minutes away ($40 cab ride), so you would be saying "why didn't I rent a car?!"..... Anyway, for those reasons alone, I'll give the resort a solid two stars.. Maybe 2.5 out of 5 if I could... But let's keep it real, there's a lot more to a "hotel" than the views....... The Cons: A)))) their parrots!!!!! Urghhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... They have these three nice looking Macaw parrots in a cage right near the corridor for the rooms, and I get how it's cool to have parrots in a hotel themed "captain..." but every morning starting at 5am (sunrise) they start screaming, alllll morning, all day... They sound like cats in heat, its horrible.. They are awesome if you like being woken up early so you can make the most of your trip. But. If you enjoy sleeping in a little on YOUR vacation, they make it nearly impossible.... I love all animals, but I think they should be relocated from the hotel setting ASAP... B) "Breakfast is included".. I put that in quotations, because their breakfast is unedible. Simply put. Not until my last day on my second trip there did I find out they can make pancakes and omlettes to order, which they gladly neglect to tell you.. >=( so make sure to take advantage of that should you go against better judgement and stay there.. C) you MUST rent a car if you plan on staying there for more than two days. D) the reception, staff, and restaurant staff could DEFINITELY learn a thing or two about customer appreciation, smiling, and attitude. A friendly smile and attitude once in a while won't hurt them.. The whole time I felt like they were doing me a favor letting me stay there, but then again, it's French owned...... D) the TV in the room has only half a channel. I say that realistically because only one channel works, only half the time. And E) last but not least; as others mentioned, their internet is slower than 56k modem... How much could broadband already cost?, even for an island? Internet is our only means of communications with the outside world, and they make that. Process nearly impossible. If you plan on using Skype for long distance for calls, forget about it. This is not an exaggeration.... Only works in the reception area, and even there, it BEARLY works. But other than A-E, my stay was "passable", for the decent price of course, which was reasonable... But until Captain Oliver's takes A-E into consideration, I will not be back. Our last names are Sipel and Mandeli, room 102, to show our seriousness in the matter. Unless they make serious changes soon, I will most Iikely not return, nor recommend this resort to a friend. Hope he truth helps....
Should you decide to stay there anyway, an ocean view deluxe room is a MUST.
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This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.