We wanted to stay in Soufriere early in our trip to ensure we were able to take advantage of all the activities in the area around Soufriere (Pitons, Anse Chastanet, Sulpher Springs, etc.) So I decided to book Talk to Me Cool Spot online prior to arriving in St. Lucia. The reason why I booked it was because it was one of the cheapest hotels that had a web presence. We were charged 50% upon booking and the remainder upon check-out. Unfortunately, Talk to Me Cool Spot failed in the following areas:
1. The rooms indicated they were outfitted with bathrooms. In reality, the toilet was in an extra small space divided from the bedroom by a shower curtain. You get to know the person your staying with very well. Pray that you don’t get travellers diarrhea.
2. The shower head was tangled with electrical wires and packing tape. If you put your hand up to one of the streams you could actually feel an electrical pulse. I don’t really know what else to say about this...
3. The “kitchenette suite” was very cramped and directly beside the bed. It wasn’t enough of a kitchenette to cook meals in but it was nice to have a small fridge to keep some groceries cool.
4. Unfortunately, Talk to Me is on the hill of Soufriere and the sound of the city reverberates right into your guest room. Be prepared to be awoken by an orchestra of animals every morning. In fact, you’ll probably hear loud country music until about 2 a.m. followed by an hour or two of dogs barking. Shortly after that, the roosters start – and believe me, they don’t stop until about 10 a.m. You might get a few horse “Nehs” or cow “Moos”, too if you’re lucky. This is pretty common among any Caribbean city unless you have a perfectly loud AC unit or you are by the beach. If you’re not, bring lots of ear plugs.
5. The owner of the hotel preached his beliefs a little too much. Though there is nothing wrong with being passionate about your religion – it becomes offensive when you say things like “The worst sin that you could do, the sin that will send you to the depths of hell, is if you have premarital sex” to the unmarried couple that just check-in to your hotel...
6. The owner’s wife, though a wonderful chef, charged $25USD per person for any meal she cooked for you. You can probably swindle her down a little but not much. Great food but very overpriced and you pretty much have to eat before 7 p.m. so they could get to bed early for the next day.
Where Talk to Me Cool Spot excelled:
1. The view. Pretty spectacular. Petit Piton is right our your window. It is breath-taking.
2. Despite my complaints about the property keepers, they were very friendly and helpful where they could be. Their employee was very, very nice and enjoyed playing Yahztee with us after dinner.
Other things to consider:
• If you don’t have a car, plan to walk up and down that hill A LOT. It’s about a 15 – 20 minute walk into town if you want to go to the shops or restaurants. It can be a little sketchy walking through the streets at night if you look like a tourist but we didn’t really feel unsafe or threatened. People may just stare at you and you might get a few beggers.
• Be cautious of beggers. They will try to hook you into giving them money by carving a little coconut bird or telling you they are in a mental hospital... Just say “No” and be on your way.
• Taxi fares are atrocious. I’m not sure how the driver’s came up with the fares they have but I find it insulting that a 5 minute cab rides costs 40USD. The cab drivers prey on travellers too lazy to barter and too rich to know any better. Don’t fall for it. By paying those atrocious fees you’re doing a disservice to other travellers and contributing to the problem. You’re better off to rent a car or take the bus system.

While this hotel is situated in a spot tucked into the mountain that should make it the most spectacular place ever....it fails to do so. The vegetation is so overgrown that much of view is lost. Their "premier" room was anything but. It was a cinderblock cave with french doors leading to an admittedly wonderful balcony. The bathroom was wide open to the rest of the room and provided zero privacy if needed. There was also no AC of any kind...which would have been fine except you could not sleep with the french doors open due to the insane level of noise coming from the bars in Soufriere and the packs barking/howling dogs that roamed the town at night. The chicken/roosters (hundreds of them) began their routine "crowing" at about 3:30am until sun-up. Sleeping was impossible...and after 3 days of ZERO rest, we packed up and left for another hotel. To their credit, the innkeepers were very pleasant, although they had nothing much to offer. Food at this hotel and any travel assitance was mediocre at best. Sorry...but cannot recommend.

This establishment was, in a word, HORRIFIC.

The caretaker, Vanessa, had no record of our reservation. She nevertheless fixed up a room, but when we asked for water were told that the refrigerator was shut off and that she had nothing to give us. She then told us that we'd have to walk into town for breakfast.

The room was decent for the price, but I felt very unsafe with no phone, no security, no staff, no nothing. I was told that the phone did not make outgoing calls, but only received incoming calls. And the noise from outside was outrageous. There was some sort of party going on in town that was so loud, you could have sworn the noise was coming from right next door. This lasted until about 3 a.m., meaning that I didn't fall asleep until then. At one point, I saw a man wandering around the premises with a flashlight, but I had no idea who he was. I was more freaked out at this place than I have been at any other hostel in the world, 3rd world country or otherwise.

Worst of all, in my opinion, was the horrific way in which the establishment's pets were being treated. In fact, I cut my stay short because I was so depressed by the animals. The dog, Rex is clearly a young, energetic dog that needs a place to run around, but I learned from the caretaker that he is normally tied up all day when the owner is around. I asked her if the dog had a water bowl, and she just shook her head no. When she doesn't work, the dog doesn't eat. He was STARVING. The dog is tied up all day and night with inadequate shelter and nothing to eat. Not exactly what you want to see on a vacation.

Furthermore, the poor cat, Mr. Jinx, had a broken paw, meaning that he can't fight for food. I saw a pile of moldy cat food, which was so disgusting, that not even a starving cat would eat it. I ended up feeding both of the animals bits of bread and cheese because they were so hungry. Mr. Jinx just kept meowing at me because he was clearly starving. So amazingly cruel.

What angered me most was learning that the owner, Michael, was on vacation in St. John for THREE WEEKS, enjoying the sun and sand, while his poor pets were starving to death and being left out in the rain.

Where is this guy's conscience? Where is his empathy towards living creatures that are not very different from you or me?

Frankly, someone should tie Michael to a rope and let him starve to death with a broken arm out in the rain.

Talk 2 me is greatest little guest house. It exceeded our expectations on many levels. The owners, Michael and Andrea were warm, friendly, and made us feel welcome from the moment we arrived. Michael's taxi and tour service was convenient and accommodating. Andrea's cooking was some of the best on the island. The is the perfect guesthouse for the traveller who avoids resorts but instead wants to learn about the culture and seeks a little adventure. Overall, this was an incredible experience.