We began our 7 day trip pulling up to this "resort" being greeted by literally no one. After a cheery greeting by the reception staff of one, we thought this place redeemed itself. Wrong.
We were escorted to our room of which we were told we would have two adjoining/next to each other beach cottages, but instead we were led to the back where there were a rows of rooms. Upon entering we were met with the smell of mold and mildew. Sitting down on the sofa it smelled as if 10 cats urinated on both sofas. My dress smelled from just sitting on it for 5 mins (I had to hand wash my dress to get the smell out). Our family in the adjoining next room did not even have back cushions on the sofa we had to call to get some. The shower in our bathroom had 0 water pressure and it took a day for them to repair it. The peacocks were great until they kept pooping on the patio and my daughter continually stepped in it. The AC worked well and kept the room cool. The bed was firm but not too uncomfortable. Our maid was very sweet and proficient. I got attacked by mosquitoes at night while I slept, and I understand I'm in a tropical setting so I wore OFF and still got chomped on.
The food was decent. I would have to say the Jerk pork and chicken were excellent, but anything other than that was just mediocre. Breakfast was the same everyday, and they seem to hoard the bacon as it took 4 days to figure out they even had any. They keep it in the back section where a food server has to administer it on your plate. They only had beef patties on Sunday's and they were bland and not spicy at all. Drinks were never the same. I would order the same drink and it would taste or look different each time. Usually we had to hunt down place settings from other tables as most tables will be half set, like they got busy and forgot to finish. We had a few great waiters, but most of the time they just filled water glasses and cleared plates without even acknowledging you. I would have been more inclined to leave an extra tip if we could have at least got some eye contact.
It was hit or miss. Some of the staff was very friendly and some looked like they were miserable to even be there. The front desk girl was great when we checked in but when I had to deal with other front desk people they were rude, short and disinterested. Bring cash because if you want to charge anything to your room they will not let you, like internet, tours and phone calls. Everyday my husband was asked by one of the staff if he wanted to "buy a bag" or if he "partied". We could not go on the snorkeling trip two days in a row because there were not enough people. Bummer.
I will say that the grounds were the best part of this resort. It is beautifully maintained and the addition of the cats and peacocks (except for the poop) are a nice touch. The pools are small and have no privacy. If you want to swim, go to the sister resort Fun Caribbean. The beach is small and a bit dirty. The further you swim the more beautiful it is. Grab a snorkel and check it out past the buoys, there is lots of reef to explore. The swing chairs at the Jetty bar are cool but the bees can get really bad.
The two reason I would never return are, 1) I called/emailed the resort to set up a surprise dinner for my parents anniversary a prior visiting the resort. I emailed back and forth with the wedding/event coordinator numerous times and planned the dinner on the gazebo with a special dinner, champagne and dessert. When we arrived, post Hurricane Sandy, I was told that because the gazebo was undermined that we would have to have the dinner in a diffrernt location, totally understandable. I stopped by the wedding office the day before to confirm the dinner, it would be in the Thai restaurant with a floral arrangement and champagne at 6:30pm for 5 people. When we showed up they had no idea there was a special dinner and was told that they could not accommodate us. I was upset that the surprise was totally ruined. I asked to talk to the wedding coordinator and she was gone for the day. She did not even make our reservation, nor did she make sure the floral arrangement or Champagne were there. NOTHING was done. I asked to talk to a manager and as it took longer and longer I got pissed and we decided to just eat in the buffet, Plan ruined. We went and settled into a table at the buffet restaurant and the manager finally came over and spread out some hibiscus flowers on the table and brought over a bottle of sparkling wine. We managed to have a nice dinner despite the ball being dropped by the weeding coordinator, of which never called or contacted me to apologize. 2) The same night as the anniversary dinner fail, we all settled in for the night, there was some loud music coming from the back side of the resort, no biggie a club/bar I can deal with it. 10pm the music gets louder and louder, the beat of the bass shaking the walls. We deal with it until 11pm. Since we had an early flight the next morning, I called the front desk to see if there was something they could do. I was told by the front desk that a new club had just opened and many other guests are complaining but that they could not do anything until 12am. Literally 3 hours of blasting techno was in my head like a possessed ear worm. Finally at midnight I called the front desk and was told by Patrick that "This is Jamaica, people have parties and clubs can play their music till whenever they feel like it and they* (Club Caribbean) don't want to 'start anything' with the people at the club". The music went on until 2am. I had to sleep on the nasty sofa with beach towels to get a little bit of sleep.
This is my second trip to Jamaica, the last time we stayed at a 5 star resort. This is 2 stars at best.
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.