This was our 2nd time to H2...Like the previous reviewer, we also attended on the Love Voodoo week. And like them, we are not in the “lifestyle”, but do enjoy the dancing and fun activities that H2 offers. We’ve found that a few other resorts were kind of boring, with little after dinner entertainment and late night dancing, which is why we went to H2….they offer entertainment in droves.
We also love the laid back atmosphere of the resort. We are beach people so it was terrific to spend so much time relaxing, watching the waves roll in. That all being said, I am not sure we are going to return next year…we are kind of on the fence. The hotel really needs some TLC and issues fixed.
Here is a quick review of the different areas with respective strengths/weaknesses:
Entertainment/Dancing: The entertainment staff, Winston, Fifty, etc., are extremely talented. They seriously have so much energy and go above and beyond to involve patrons in the fun. The main shows were very good each night in the main dining room, although the pre-show entertainment could use an update in their song choices. It would be great to hear slow dinner music that is current.
We and other guests were disappointed that the DJ was not out at the pool every night like last year. There was only one night last year in the disco as opposed to this year where I think there were around 3 nights where they expected guests to go to the disco. The disco DJ was not nearly as good as the one at the pool. It was if he didn’t even know what current music people wanted to dance to. In addition, it is much more fun when they have the disco party outside.
It is a lot of fun to get dressed up for the parties...such crazy costumes. But we'd like to suggest to H2 that they get rid of the dress-up naughty schoolgirl night. It is really kind of creepy, and we think there are better themes out there. Maybe move that night into the fetish night and then do something like Mardi Gras or Sports Night???
The piano bar was so much fun. Really, if you go to the resort you should go to a sing along. The piano player is very talented. Winston and Fifty made the night unforgettable. It was terrific!
As far as the games, they were fun to watch. I wish they'd give away rum for prizes. I've been to other resorts where they do that and it does encourage people to participate more. We did earn Hedo bucks for one thing but didn't use them so I don't know what the prizes were.
Rooms – People don’t go to H2 for the rooms, but my goodness, I am quite sure people would pay more to stay in a decent room. Like others have complained about, our A/C was barely functioning to keep the room cool. Also, we could not get a refrigerator which is ridiculous. Why every room doesn’t come with a refrigerator is beyond me. EVERY room should have a refrigerator, especially given the fact that they do not let people have bottled water. So if I pay for bottled water and soda, which we did, I would like to have refrigerator to put it in. They shouldn’t be schlepping refrigerators from room to room like they do. We arrived early on Saturday, asked for one, and we were told to keep calling. What is that about??? And even though we kept calling, not one was available, and by Sunday we were basically told they were all used. Ugh. This needs to be addressed.
The rooms themselves are just in need of a serious makeover, which was no surprise to us. I know you don’t spend a lot of time in the room, but even little things like working AC, updated linens/beds/pillows, and decent channels on the TV would be helpful.
I will say the maid service was excellent. No matter what time we got up, we’d return to a very clean room.
Food- As far as food, the grilled chicken on the au natural side is excellent as were the late night hamburgers. The reggae café was iffy….the one day they ran out of everything and I could see other guests were annoyed. I don’t get how they run out of everything???
At dinner, they served lobster on the last day, which was delicious. The main dishes they served, like roast pork, turkey and duck, were excellent. The rest of the offered food was average. The pasta bar was good but there was only one person working it and the wait was long. It was difficult to get reservations at the restaurants, but we did manage to get in one night to the Italian restaurant.
I do wish this resort would offer 24 hour room service, but honestly, I don’t see that happening at this kind of resort. It would be nice at night if they at least offered food 24 hours a day. They only do late night food from 12-2 am, which is late. However, at a resort where people are dancing and drinking all night, food should be cooked and offered late into the night, with more of a variety besides just hamburgers and fries. It seems like they could have a better system, maybe offer premade sandwiches, salsa and chips and other munchies that would not require much work.
Alcohol – H2 does have lots of it…I will say that. My biggest complaint is that I was VERY disappointed when they ran out of dry champagne (which is the only thing I drink) on Wednesday night and then they replaced their brut champagne with sweet spumante, which was so sweet it tasted like apple cider. It was awful. And there was no other choice. No brut offering whatsoever. In addition, they ran out of the top shelf vodka, which my husband drinks, so there wasn’t a big choice for him either. Honestly, at that point, I would have been willing to pay extra to get my brut champagne or his top shelf vodka, but we were kind of stuck with what they had.
The resort needs to plan better and at least be cognizant of what kinds of liquor they are replacing with what. You can’t replace a dry wine with a sweet one and expect people not to notice. Same with the vodka. It is really poor business practice and leaves people with a bad taste in their mouths (no pun intended). People understand if you run out for the day, but when it continues for the next two days of your vacation, that is unacceptable.
Beach/Watersports/Pool –
We LOVE the H2 beach. It is seriously relaxing and clean. The beach chairs, however, are terrible. They are hard. They pop up when you site on them. There are absolutely no pads. It is just a hot mess. I know they must take a beating but seriously, when people are flying thousands of miles to lie on a beach, please have decent beach chairs! I would even be willing to rent a decent lounge chair so I’d be comfortable. They also could use more floats because people use them as pads for their chairs, so they can be hard to get. We broke down and bought a raft in the store; it was great they sold them.
The only other thing that I would say is that I personally found it annoying that H2 puts up with the constant barrage of people on boats (from other resorts) coming over to stare/gawk at the people on the beach. It is entirely unacceptable and annoying to the guests. I am not sure how they could better control this activity. Perhaps put signs out in the water or move the rope line out further. Also, I didn’t like the fisherman who sat on their boat on the A/N side, again gawking or hollering out to people.
The watersports area/people seemed wonderful. There is a full array of activities from small boats to paddleboards to kayaks. We did go out on the Snorkel/Cave Catamaran cruise. Although it was too crowded for our tastes, the people who ran it were very, very nice and it was simply beautiful. I would highly recommend that you take the cruise in that it is so gorgeous!
As far as the pool and hot tub, they seemed fine. The A/N pool was kind of dirty the last day, so we didn’t really stay very long. Without a doubt, the A/N pool bar needs more bartenders. It is overcrowded and it can be difficult to get your drink. I felt sorry for the hardworking staff who struggled to keep up with the overwhelming amount of guests. The pool entertainment was great; they play music and keep the party going strong.
Grounds keeping – I just wanted to mention this briefly because I really think they do such a nice job keeping the resort looking beautiful.
In conclusion, we love Jamaica and the relaxation it has to offer, but like I said, we are kind of on the fence about returning to H2. We love H2’s fun and free spirit vibe…It is very cool and special experience. This property has so much to offer, with its fun activities and au natural amenities, but management could seriously improve what is going on with this property.
Room Tip: If I were to stay here, I'd definitely recommend a second level ocean view room.
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This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
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