I rank this as the 4th worst hotel of my life and the worst value for money. We were a party of 55 spread over several villas for a 15th anniversary celebration. I write many reviews (Ph.D. in management science applied to travel) so am very observant of all aspects. Will divide into categories.
Arrival: Pickup at airport in Tryall's shuttle was reasonably efficient. We were a party of 3, joined by a party of 4. All from our large group. Group leader provided a voucher. The van was from 'No Problem' tours, which appears to be the sole contractor to Tryall. When we exited, the driver's boss came to my family of 3 and asked for $93 for the trip. (They had been pre-paid.) I was astounded. The cab fare from the airport is roughly $4 per person.
Check-In: Assigned to Serenity Villa. No choice in the matter. This is a 3 bedroom. We occupied 2 of them, a queen and 2 doubles. The other couple occupied the other queen. I am a vehement non-smoker. There were ashtrays everywhere and the place smelled badly of smoke. We were not given any information at all about the amenities, other than that everything was closed, i.e. the restaurant, the great house, the salon, the bar, etc. Only thing opened was the beach restaurant. The commissary was to close immediately.
Commissary: Terrible rip-off. A bottle of house Vodka is $40. Beer is $5 per bottle. Food for 3 for 1 dinner (fish, and a can of soup, some vegetables, and some ice cream) plus food for breakfast (dozen eggs and coffee and milk) came to $183!!! That's right: $183 for 1 dinner and 3 breakfasts. No meat, other than the fish. My wife heard a Jamaican woman buy a tomato and when told the price she said, "no, not for them, what is the price for me?" She was then given a price just over 1/3 of the original.
Serenity Villa: Just awful. Bug infested. Ants crawling everywhere. Dirt all over. There was a huge amount of dust on the floor. As ever, I put my initials in it. That was Sept 1. They were still there when I left today 9/5. The staff was totally inattentive. We almost never saw them. They did, however, receive phone calls almost constantly. Today, the phone rang at 6:05 AM for them. It rang 14 times before we ate breakfast at 7:45. Yesterday, it rang over 40 times. Always for the staff. We ran out of toilet paper yesterday. Never replaced. It is locked in a closet. One day I asked for a banana daiquiri with my banana and my rum. Johnny, the cook made it. Poured me one from the blender and I never saw the rest. He never offered another drink the whole time. We always just got our own sodas or beer since the staff was nowhere to be seen. We never saw anyone except the outside pool person clean anything. Not once in 5 days. Some laundry did get done, although nobody ever told us this was available. Other people in our group had somewhat better experiences. Clive House looked very nice and better run. I gather nobody manages this staff and they work for the home owner, rather than the Tryall. I am sure they wanted a tip, but certainly didn't earn one. (I heard Villa management added 20% to the total bill anyway for gratuities, over and above the envelopes the maids and cooks left for my fellow travelers.)
Golf: Our group played one morning. I don't golf. (Hence, we were incredibly bored at this place.) However, I came along for the fun of it. I went down to meet them and a man came and said I had to wear golf shoes because it was too wet to go out in sneakers. It wasn't. I said I didn't want any, I was fine. He said no it was too dangerous and he felt I would be safer in golf shoes. He promptly gave me a pair: size 10. I am a size 6. I explained these did not fit. He told me to lace them tighter. I showed him they were twice the size of my feet. He gave me a size 9. I insisted I would wear my sneakers. He went and got a woman's pair which was close to a fit. I put them on. I simply drove the cart a few holes with my friends and then went back to the shop and left the shoes. Later that day he saw me at the beach and came over and demanded money. He said I had rented the shoes. At no point, was the word 'rent' ever used. I told him to go away. He was quite angry and said I had come in and rented his shoes. Clearly, I hadn't. I ignored him. The golf party seemed ok with the course. Nothing special. We live on a wonderful golf course and Jay Haas lives here. Our course is 100% better.
Other Activities: There weren't any. The place advertises beach sports. Other than a single kayak, we saw none. No jet skis. No banana boat. No games. I brought my own snorkel gear. I swam way, way out to the reef. It is almost dead. Almost no fish to speak of. Nothing like the Bahamas or BVI. Tennis courts were ok. You must pay for a ball boy. A can of balls is $7.50. It was beastly hot, but this was at least something to do. This was, by far, the most boring place I have EVER been.
Outside: We went to Montego Bay on a bus. Cost $1.15 per person. Mo Bay is frighteningly dangerous and I travel over the world. There is absolutely nothing to see there. The people are hostile. We could only imagine what night must be like. Other people went on a 4 hour deep sea fishing outing. They saw (didn't catch, merely saw) 1 fish from a distance. 1 couple went 2.5 hours each way to Dunn's River. That is it for Jamaica tourism. (Again, why go to Jamaica to ride an old run down horse when we have stables here?)
Catering: The group gathered most nights for a party. One night there was supposed to be a calypso band. It consisted of an ancient guy and his two old sons. They were mediocre. The food at these ranged from decent to bad. The best were a fish 'fry' with lobster; and a night with some lamb and tilapia and ribs. The worst was a bunch of funny tasting hamburgers, fish pizza (?!), and some chicken strips that made several people quite ill. I had tried to hire a symphony orchestra (I conduct) to play for the honored couple, but this is not possible according to Mr. Baur. I will credit him, he did try to do things and sometimes even succeeded. But, my daughter, who is a vegetarian, had virtually nothing to eat the whole trip. The beach restaurant was passable, but not up to the level of a pool bar in the Bahamas.
Kids' activities: None. The kids club is also closed. They had a 'counselor' but he simply took the kids down to the beach, where, once they saw their parents, they wanted them and fled the counselor. No other activities at all for any kid.
Teen Interest: None. AT all. My daughter, who is 16, was so bored she cried. There is absolutely nothing for a teen to do here.
Wife type (i.e. non-golfing) activities: Since I noticed not a single female of the group of 55 lifted a golf club: None. Zip. My wife was so bored, she cried. Basically, if you don't golf or play tennis (and, for the most part it is so hot you can only do those for about 1 hour or so), there isn't anything else at all to do except sit in your villa and sweat.
Value for Money: This place is atrocious. It is vastly over-priced for the little bit they provide. And, at every step, they try to gouge the customer for more. There is simply no excuse for the prices in the commissary, or the $93 van ride, or the golf rental shoes. There is no excuse for having a bed which is bug infested, or air conditioners that don't work and nobody knows how to repair, or no toilet paper. One of our party's cooks bought her a 5 pound bag of sugar for a family of 2 the first day. 3 days later she was told they were out of sugar and needed more. It is obvious the house staff simply takes all of the extra supplies and keeps them, so wants you to buy as much as possible.
Conclusion: DO NOT GO. Spend your money on a better vacation. Go to France and see something like a museum. Go on a cruise. Go anywhere else. OK, if this were a $50 per night Motel 6 you might expect this type of shoddy treatment. But for what Tryall charges, you should be getting first class service at all times. You could not pay me to go back to that hole. They should be ashamed to call themselves a resort when really they are a glorified, poorly run housing community renting out villas to unsuspecting tourists and then charging them a fortune in add-ons. At least Myrtle Beach has mini-golf for the kids. This place didn't have anything at all for children.



