Where to start is the problem. Those of us in UK know Fawlty Towers. Well this is Fawlty Towers Dominion Republic.
But even Fawlty Towers didnt have cockroaches in the room and and a lady locked in the loo at the same time.
Also they never had the School Dinners approach to a Buffett. As the queues for the food spead around the food, some 40/50 long the kids revolted. pushing and shoving out of boredom. The hotels response was to have one lone hassled cook preparing the only food fit for human consumption.the freshly cooked meal of the day. After an hour or so queuing finally gets to the serving bit and they have run out!.
So console yourself with a nice cocktail or should I say sugared water with what tasted like paraffin.
OK so at least one could have a nice ice cream....fat chance... The kids got there first. Never seen so many kids at a normal hotel. One ice cream tub, one scooper, one hour to queue behind four year olds weilding the scooper like a club. And I like kids, even my own. In fact I could eaten oneworry ably better than the buffet.
Right I'm off to the pool for leisurely swim....you got it before me...yes full and I mean full...of kids. Turns out they got a special BOGOF on for kids. " Buy One Get One Free". Where do you get a towel...best kept secret.
So we try to Cancell and leave but, of course they took money up front and don't wanna give any back. Refund of two nights questionable.
Alright how about a cool bath. Remember it's 35 degrees out there. At last...turn on the water....whoops not gonna work... No plug! OK let's let 'her inside' have a shower and pop out for a coffee. Good stuff the coffee, right colour at least. But taste yuk. Straight out of vending machine!.
So can't all be bad, let's go back to the room and surprise " she who,must be obeyed". Knock, knock! Scream... "let me out " knock,knock...more screams " let me out...help!". Turns out bathroom lock not working. Got stuck and panicked in case the cook got fed up and burnt the place down.
OK how about some ,rest and recreation'. Yeah sure but has to wait until after the visit to the $300 + doctor yes 300 DOLLARS! to sort out a tummy that can't deal with the food, or is it water, or is it the dirt and filth on the floor in the bathroom.
Time to complain to Mellissa in Customer Service. You must be joking, service...she did not come down to meet me F2F until third complaint.
So off to the beach, that can't go wrong can it. Well can't find the free water based activities or any information on them. No written activities list anywhere, so where is what and when...we just rely on the smoke signals.
Now I am waiting to hear what gonna do but not hopeful.
watch this space, let's see if Melissa can get anywhere... Gonna leave in morning
Dancing Lover.
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.