I thought it was weird that they collected the money up front. I have stayed all over the world and they never actually collected (charged) the money up front. Well I found out why. The service is non existent. The staff does not understand the meaning of the work customer, smile, service, quality or timeliness.

Every day we had to call for towels and the average wait time to get them was 3.5 hours! There seems to be major shortage of towels. I think they may be a form of new currency and rarer than gold. It was not like you could use the towels from the day before because they were taken as soon as you left your room. I finally lost it on the 4th night and demanded a call from the manager about the towel situation. Well I am still waiting for that call!

Now lets move on to the bar area. Somehow I expect people to smile when they are a bartender. No one smiled at the Piano Bar ever! The drinks were weak and for the most part low quality liquor was used.

Moving on to dinner. Well nothing to write home about at all. The best meal is breakfast because they will make your eggs anyway you want. We were told by someone checking out to try the Pineapple Grill, that it was great. Well we made reservations to go there (yes you need reservations). I ordered and paid extra for the lobster. Well the lobster that I was served was one which was returned by a previous customer who sent it back (GROSS). My husband had the fajitas and if you are American you will know fajitas and these were not even close. The fajitas were all fat and prepared with no spices. The mashed potatoes which are listed as a chef's special were box mashed potatoes.

Next time we will stay ANY PLACE else. I am told that Carlisle Bay and Jumby Bay are worth a visit. Spend your money there!

This is without doubt the worst holiday I have ever had.

Upon arrival we had to wait 1 minute and 28 seconds before a porter carried our bags to our room. It took another 3 minutes to complete the check in which again is far too long. Don't "these people" realise that I am on holiday and want to "chill out".

Our room was very basic unlike all of the other rooms that we have stayed at in the Carribean that are refurbished after every visit. We didn't even had a Faberge Egg on each pillow as a 'welcome gift'.

The food was simply not Michelin 3 Star on every night which, quite frankly, is appalling. All we got offered was a wide choice of food. No quails eggs on any occasion.

I could go on but I won't as you may have guessed by now I am taking the p**s out of the septic's who have posted on this site about the hotel.

My family visited this hotel and could not peak highly enough of it.

My family and friends are due to visit in Feb 2006 and are very much looking forward to it.

It makes you wonder what some people expect from a holiday at times!

Having visited GPB in October 2004 we decided to return Oct 2005. Our second visit was as lovely as our first. We are well travelled and have experience of both luxurious and poor quality acccomodation. The GPB has an enchanting quality that we have not found anywhere else. There are things about it that could be improved but it all adds to the charm of the place. This is the only place where I truly relax and unwind. I can't imagine anywhere else I would rather be on this cold, dark November day! If you you are lucky enough to have the opportunity to visit the GPB go with an open mind and enjoy, it is lovely.

We have just returned after two weeks of sheer bliss.We we sent there because of the hurricanes in mexico. I was slightly apprehensive about going to the Grand Pineapple after reading alot of these reviews we chewed it over and decided to for it and i have to say im pleased we did.

We were giving a cocktail upon arrival and we found the staff acceptional and prompt. We were upgraded to a beachfront room which was lovely very clean and the bed linen and towels were changed every day.The room was always cool as fitted with air con only thing was no fridge and had to request the iron and ironboard but nothing was too much trouble.

My cousin was married here and the service was beautiful and afterwards the food was wonderful.
All the time the staff were very friendly and polite and always answering you with your welcome.

The nightlife was low key but your in the caribbean for god sake anyway we made our own entertainment after a few cocktails.

We met some wonderful Americans there Scott, Kerry, Will, Andrew, John and Taylor to name but a few and i did miss them into my second week however the resort is truly paradise.

After reading the reviews i find it hard to believe that we are all talking about the same hotel. If you are thinking about going do so the food is great and the chef Tyson has won awards the service is a little slow but we weren't going anywhere.You also have to try Miss Mary's the ribs are to die for i don't eat them at home but i was converted over there.She also does chicken, salad and chillie beans.Beer and soft drinks is also on tap.It is a bit of a hike up there but itis truly worth it.

I will defiently be back and hope you all enjoy it and fall in love with the place as much as me thankyou Grand Pineapple.