I spent 3/23 to 3/30 at the Grand Pineapple with my wife and 3 year old daughter. Overall, I we loved our stay. The best parts were the room location, the beach and the convenience of everything being in close proximity. Although it is true the rooms and the resort in general are a bit tired, the room was very clean and the location was awesome. We stayed in room 506 considered waterside (also goes by waterfront and ocean front depending on where you booked). We were steps from the water and went to sleep every night with the crashing of the waves on the rocks below us. With the cool ocean breeze we never used the AC although it was working fine. We opened up the windows to the balcony and the door to the room has slats that open. So, we had a breeze going through the room at all times. We supplemented that with the ceiling fan in the day, but did not even need that at night time. Originally, we could not open 2 of the 3 windows, but maintenance fixed one leaving us with 2 open which were plenty. There were also no bugs to be seen anywhere so we often kept the balcony door open.

I can see why any room type could appeal to others as they each have there advantages; however, for us the waterside rooms were the right choice. The one suggestion I would have would be to move to the other end of the building. Room #506 is the 3rd in on the second floor, 502 being the first. Since the building is very close to the main bar, we could hear the music from the bands that played every night from 9 to 11pm. Since we were with my daughter, we were in bed every night by 9:30 and it was mildly annoying.

The food was decent, not great but acceptable. I would say that lunch was better than dinner as I can always find something good to eat in the buffet. We did Italian specialty dinner next to the Tropaz (Chef Pietro I think) and the Pineapple Grill. The Italian was decent. The Pineapple grill unfortunately was possibly the worst meal I have ever had at any restaurant or diner. My wife ordered seafood pasta which was described as pasta with scallops and shrimp. What she got was overcooked pasta tossed with imitation crab (no shrimp or scallops) tossed with some cheap tomato sauce and garlic, absolutely disgusting. I had the Osso Bucco and could only find about 3 or 4 bites of edible meat on the bone, very disappointing. Breakfast was fine. It is tough to go wrong with a daily choice of oatmeal, cereal, fruit, yogurt, eggs made to order, pancakes, waffles and bacon and sausage among a few other things. We ate breakfast every day at 7:30am when it opened, then I would go back just before 10:30am when they closed for another small snack to hold myself and daughter over to lunch. The burgers and chicken fingers at the pool bar also came in handy a few times.

Many have complained of the birds bothering them at the Tropaz. Not only did we not find them annoying, they added to the atmosphere. My daughter loved having them dine with us. Plus, I am not sure what the hotel could do. It is not like they imported them. I am sure they were there first. Just make sure you cover all food and drinks before getting up as you will find 5 birds sharing your soda if you leave for 15 seconds.

Mary’s outhouse was awesome. The food was pretty good and the view and atmosphere make for a dining experience of a 10+. The fact that they had ice cold Waddidi, Red Stripe and Heineken in bottles did not hurt.

There seemed to be a pretty good selection of both alcoholic and not alcoholic drinks. My only suggestion would be that if you like to drink at the beach or pool, bring your own plastic glass. The glasses are fine if you are drinking in the bar. However, if you want to take a drink to the pool or beach, you are given a small plastic cup of about 8 oz, where after allowing for a little foam if you are drinking beer, you get about a 5oz beer each time.

Overall the staff was friendly, some more than others. No one was rude, but as others have suggested, some are not outwardly friendly and prefer to keep to themselves. The nicest were the activities staff, the coldest were the bartenders.

We enjoyed snorkeling a couple of times, kayaking and my daughter took part in the Easter Egg hung complete with Easter Bunny in dress. There was ongoing volleyball, soccer, and other activities which we did not participate in.

We only left the resort to visit the Veranda right across the street and Devils Bridge. We were actually considering the Veranda because of the pictures of the rooms. However, after visiting, we preferred the GP. The Veranda was nice, but they have no rooms right on the water like where we were staying and everything is very spread out. With a 3 year old, my wife and I were able to travel back and forth between the beach, pool and our room easily. At the Veranda, people walk a long way to everything or wait for a shuttle to come by. We also preferred the beach at the GP, the Veranda was nice to, but just not as nice in our opinion.

Devils Bridge was an awesome great trip for the views. I jogged there and back the first day and took a taxi the second day for $6USwith my wife and daughter and walked back through the Veranda.

The only other comment I have is that although we loved our stay, it was a bit pricey. Many say don’t expect a 5 star hotel when it is a 3 but it seems to be priced at least a 4. Maybe it is the weak US$, but we thought it was expensive.

Would we go back? Probably not any time soon as we like to visit different resorts and islands. Would we recommend it to someone else? Absolutely.

Loved the white sandy beach. Lots of loungers and clean towels whenever you wanted. The staff were absolutely lovely, very polite and helpful. The setting of the hotel is gorgeous, right on the beach. Mary's shack serves spare ribs, chicken, salad and lovely cold beer, wonderful for lunch and gorgeous views. Some of the rooms need upgrading, rather old and dingy. We managed to get an upgrade from the original room which had no view and was behind reception. The reception staff were very helpful. The room we had was very nice, spacious and the maids came every day and left the room spotless. The only fault I had was the food. Pretty awful, the meat was always very chewy and dry and there was only really rice to have with it. Not enough selection. Desserts were usually cake and the fruit was normally melon, melon, melon, and sometimes tinned yes tinned pineapple, or peach. Also you had to book your dinner every day which is a bit of a chore. There were only 2 restaurants so they knew that everyone would need a meal in one or the other as there was nowhere outside the resort you could go. Overall, the setting was great, but the food let it down.

Having read some of the reviews, we were not sure what to expect when we arrived at the resort but from the moment we arrived, everything was perfect. We had decided that we would get married there just 2 weeks before we arrived but the staff arranged everything for us before we got there and because we had upgraded to an ocean view room when we booked, the wedding service/documentation/coordinator/cake and champagne were all FREE!

Nothing was too much trouble & the bar staff were brilliant (tho they could make the cocktails a little less strong!) and always attentive. You helped yourself to the 'sodas' at the machine next to the pool so how the earlier reviewer ("won't go back') waited ages to be served I don't know - having read that review I find it hard to believe they were at the same place as us at the same time - I never heard anyone with anything other than positive views at all while we were there. I would thoroughly recommend it.

The Grand Pineapple beach is a lovely quaint, slightly old Hotel. It has character (a really good thing), a gorgeous position and the best most white white sandy beach on the island within 20 paces of the dining area and bar. We had an ocean view room which was really nice, the interior was a little dated but it was clean and the view was terrific.
The food is a bit so-so. Breakfast and lunch are good if a little repetative and dinner is an experience all of its own. Service at meals can be ok but also can be very very slow. The food is nothing special and does let the hotel down it has to be said. Drinks were fine and plenty but the entertainment can be a little poor. The outhouse is an experience but one to be enjoyed in a very barbarcue, camp fire, rustic sort of way.
Best thing you can do is hire a car and explore the island. We went all round the island (get a Jeep), driving is fun, easier then London but watch out for the pot holes, goats, cows and drop offs from the edges of cliffs. St John's is nothing special, the Rainforest is beautiful, go to Shirley Heights on a Sunday, eat at Trappas (Nelson Dockyard) Hemmingways (St Johns) and Harry's Bar in Half Moon Bay (lovely and wind swept. Devils bridge is to see but very hot, Dickenson Bay is a nice beach and Hawksbill is good. Many here have been a bit unkind to the Pineapple but on our drive we had a look at a lot of the hotels on the Island, Sandals, Coco's, Hawksbill Bay, Long Bay, Rex Resort, Verandah but coming home to the palms of the Pineapple made us feel we had definately made the right choice, it has the caribbean charm we wanted. It is not some 5 star perfect perfect, samey samey, could be anywhere hotel like the others are. Dont be put off, the Pineapple is a nice place to stay just a bit flakey round some edges.