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“poor choice” 2 of 5 stars
Review of Hotel Lisa Mari Beach

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Hotel Lisa Mari Beach
3.0 of 5 Hotel   |   Bali, Bali, Crete, Greece   |  
Hotel amenities
Ranked #6 of 9 hotels in Bali
Durham, United Kingdom
Reviewer
3 reviews 3 reviews
3 hotel reviews
Reviews in 3 cities Reviews in 3 cities
12 helpful votes 12 helpful votes
“poor choice”
2 of 5 stars Reviewed October 8, 2013

we booked the holiday on short notice without checking any of the reviews first,( BIG MISTAKE). the rooms are very dated, the food is very poor, as stated in all the reviews, the staff are very friendly, this is the only positive thing that I can say in defence of the hotel. the all inclusive is not what we have been used to in the past, there is no opportunity for any snacks during the day, if you want a cup of coffee you will only be offered the local diluted version unless you are prepared to pay them two euro for a cup of nescafe . from what we have experienced they have a different view to what all inclusive should be, I am not in the habbit of writing any reviews, I just don't want anyone else to have the same experience that we have had.

  • Stayed September 2013, traveled as a couple
    • 2 of 5 stars Value
    • 3 of 5 stars Location
    • 2 of 5 stars Sleep Quality
    • 2 of 5 stars Rooms
    • 3 of 5 stars Cleanliness
    • 3 of 5 stars Service
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This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
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Rating summary
  • Location
    4.5 of 5 stars
  • Sleep Quality
    3.5 of 5 stars
  • Rooms
    3 of 5 stars
  • Service
    3.5 of 5 stars
  • Value
    3.5 of 5 stars
  • Cleanliness
    3.5 of 5 stars
Traveler tips help you choose the right room.   Room tips (17)
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English first
Chelmsford, United Kingdom
1 review
4 helpful votes 4 helpful votes
1 of 5 stars Reviewed September 21, 2013

If you love your family, please read all previously posted reviews 2* or below for They Did Not Lie. Similar to others we arrived in the small hours of the morning and were greeted with ... a plate of rice, suspicious meat (possibly pork, possibly squirrel) and a piece of bread from the 7th century. We chose from a selection of juices which took the homeopathic approach to flavouring and I was quick to realising that being offered a beer at 5 in the morning was not in fact a strange option after all. We were tired, we had arrived and we were ready for holiday and so thought nothing of it as we made our way to our cells/rooms.

The low light of early morning arrival hid the Wentworth Grey decor of the rooms, although one of our girls remarked how their room was slightly scary and reminded her of a mental asylum (complete with bare, swinging low watt light bulb). Previous holidays in Greece have shown that it is not uncommon to have modest hotel rooms, with most of the action either by the pool or beach so it would be unfair to criticise them on this point.

The rooms were thankfully clean and beside a shower resembling a child-size phone booth and a general "state penitentiary" ambience, okay....Air-con is available and will depend on who you booked through if it will carry an extra cost; it worked out at €6/day/room for us. The addition of a fridge, albeit as bed-side-table #2, was welcome as you will need plenty of chilled water during your stay. The balconies are quite boxy and prone to flooding from the air-con units where a drain pipe connects to an old bottle of Evian and is always overflowing.

Going in September, the poolside was very quiet - but there may have been other reasons for that; however, we were grateful that there were still plenty of beds in the sun to choose from at 11am .... no beach towel imperialism for this hotel. Having collected our "All Inclusive" bands we settled down to enjoy drinks by the pool. Beer (Zorba lager) was the only real drink on offer .... unless ouzo and raki float your boat. The warm wines, unless you wished to wash a wound, clean an oven or ward off the wasps were best avoided .... aside from the water "flavoured water" on offer, everything else came at a price which kind of went against the principle of all inclusive as many others have confirmed here.

Unfortunately, having been to Skiathos earlier on in the year and had exemplary buffet food from a beach-front hotel and had a cookery lesson from a proud Greek taverna owner, the bitter disappointment of the hotel is with the food. The scraps served as a welcome should have been a warning, like severed heads on the gates of a castle or "Beware of the rabid dog" signs. It became clear that the arrival anti-feast was a ploy to make your early-morning arrival still count as "one night" spent in the hotel. But back to the food - on which I could write a small novel ......

Food is an essential part of any Greek holiday and having spent almost 7 out of the last 8 years on one their beautiful islands, we expected to enjoy some simple yet tasty cuisine..... how wrong could we be. The first lunch set the tempo for the holiday - a small salad selection, always with tomatoes, cucumbers, onion and green peppers; a soup resembling wall paper paste, Greek-style roast potatoes, a mince "creation", spaghetti, chicken body part stew, never-ending barrels of rice and a heady pasta-based cocktail made up from the last seven days of leftovers and fag ends. Dinner proved to be a slight variation on the same theme, with the addition of watermelon. As commented on elsewhere, there was no pudding to speak of and the fruit option was on wartime rationing.

By far the most damning evidence of the poor food is the breakfast - you can't possibly get breakfast wrong? You can..... We are accustomed to the mix of continental and English style breakfast and Greek yoghurt and fruit; familiar with croissant, spammy-ham and sliced cheese. Cucumber was an unusual addition to breakfast ..... There was almost no attempt to cater for anyone's taste. I managed to make it down for each breakfast but would nearly always find myself in the nearby sanctuary of the local supermarket where the pastries were edible and Lays crisps deemed a healthy alternative.

After two days we were a little down, dreading the call to lunch and dinner -- fortunately, we began to see the amusing side of the food situation and carefully planned to only visit the canteen as a last resort. Consequently, the cost of the holiday almost doubled as we sought alternatives in Bali itself. It is a nice small resort and, although very quiet as we went in September, the restaurants and tavernas went a very long way to show that Greek food can be delicious (and not just something you hope you can keep down for a couple of hours).

You should be warned that the hotel does not accept any cards - only hard cash - suggesting that it might just be a money-laundering operation front rather than a genuine hotel. This may not be too much of an issue, but when you original budget your holiday on the assumption that you might have one or two big meals out you may find that you need to get out your flexible friend to save your tastebuds. Embarrassingly we had to book an extension to our stay as our flights were scheduled for very early morning the next day and the 7-day booking did not cover this.... should you laugh in the face of popular opinion and still proceed to book, check when you are due to be kicked out against when your flight out will be .....The temptation to book one room in the nearby 5* for six hours was overwhelming.

The staff are friendly enough and appear to be brainwashed to believe the food and drink is acceptable, in the same way that vivisection lab technicians just get on with their job regardless of what may go on in "the kitchen".

We still love you Greece and my first trip to Crete will not influence the possibility of a return -- but in all seriousness, this place should be on Crimewatch not Watchdog. Try camping instead.

  • Stayed September 2013, traveled with family
    • 1 of 5 stars Value
    • 4 of 5 stars Location
    • 3 of 5 stars Sleep Quality
    • 3 of 5 stars Rooms
    • 4 of 5 stars Cleanliness
    • 2 of 5 stars Service
Was this review helpful? Yes 4
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Stirling, Scotland, United Kingdom
1 review
2 helpful votes 2 helpful votes
2 of 5 stars Reviewed September 5, 2013

My husband and I returned yesterday(3rd sept 2013) from a 2 week holiday in Bali Crete. We stayed at the Lisa Mari Hotel. Well !! firstly let me say that Bali and the people are lovely, the weather was brill in the high 30s but i'm sorry to say that's where it ends.
I feel in some ways that my holiday was ruined because of the hotel, and before anyone says this is only a three star hotel, I won't rated it at that maybe a 2 star if that.
The rooms are very basic, ours was meant to be for two, we had two single pine beds pushed together and also a set of bunk beds in the room. Our toilet,shower and a vent in the floor over flowing and the third time of reporting was fixed, as we thought, only to find on our return to the room, that the toilet had, what looked like exploded its contents which this time was not just water. We were moved rooms on the 11th day.
Lets get to the food. Its hard to put this so that some one can understand. Both myself and my husband are not fussy eaters and believe when you to another country you shouldn't be looking for burger and chips but try local food. WELL !! The first couple of days we eat at the hotel, all three meals, breakfast wasn't too bad and had it all morning but I only had tea with bread and jam my husband had boiled eggs every morning but he also tried the bacon and rice porridge .
Lunch was the same everyday (same salad, same Bolognese, same boiled rice) apart from the two trays at the end of the server which were the meat trays<these changed from chicken to pork to liver to unnameable things Like ONCE we had had chips at lunch and that night we had this thing that had pasta on the bottom then like egg in the middle with the chips (from lunch) on the top cover with cheese, cold .You would also get the chicken wings or drumsticks from previous serving the next night covered in batter or a sauce, this happened quite a lot with the meat and chicken. The dining area is like a school canteen, and you have to clear your own table, some were also scrapping their plates. We did tell the staff (not their fault)about the food but they said that the Russians loved it. Also children 12yrs and under are only allowed one ice cream per day, between the hrs of 3.30 and 5.30 and theres is no tea and coffee at dinner what a JOKE.
There is two bars one at the pool one in the canteen, only one opens at a time The only alcohol available "free" is red and white wine, beer, oozo, rekki the rest you have to pay for, but saying that I bought a vodka and coke (had to have Russian vodka because the other bottles were empty) which was fine but when I tried to get another there wasn't enough to give me one.
So we just went out. For a three nights there was no fizzy juice in the canteen, until my husband complained and was told the machine was broken and they brought in bottles of coke the next night, but for one night only. In total it was about a week with only diluted juice at the night bar . Everything closes at 2230.

  • Stayed August 2013, traveled as a couple
    • 1 of 5 stars Value
    • 5 of 5 stars Location
    • 3 of 5 stars Sleep Quality
    • 3 of 5 stars Rooms
    • 3 of 5 stars Cleanliness
    • 3 of 5 stars Service
Was this review helpful? Yes 2
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
1 review
1 helpful vote 1 helpful vote
2 of 5 stars Reviewed September 1, 2013

We arrived at about 3am and were tired, the two men that greeted us were miserable and hardly spoke. The food was not nice, it was almost the same every day. We had 3 children with us and they struggled to find something to eat and we would end up buying them something to eat. There were no puddings and each day the meals were made up of left overs from the previous meal/day. It said that ice cream was free for children under 12 from 3.30 and 5.30 and the lady serving was miserable and only allowed them 1 small ice cream each. However a few days into our holiday she left and we got a new bar man, he allowed them to have as many as they wanted. The drinks were not all inclusive, you could have beer (which is watered down) ouzo, raki, wine and tea or coffee. Soft drinks were also included although the machine in the restaurant broke so the children couldn't have any at meal times. Some of the bar staff tried to charge for the drinks that were included too but when you question this they don't charge. They sell this holiday as all inclusive but it is not! It said there were snacks available at the pool bar but this was just ham and cheese sandwiches in stale bread! At meal times the pool bar is closed as there are not enough staff, they carry the stereo between the restaurant and pool bar as only one is open at a time. There is no entertainment at all, we went out every night as we couldn't face sitting in the restaurant. The pool was lovely and the location of the hotel was good, it's in the middle of two beaches and got the sun all day. The rooms were basic and clean, about what you would expect really. I would recommend the hotel as a self catering holiday but definitely not as all inclusive, it's more like part inclusive!

  • Stayed August 2013
    • 2 of 5 stars Value
    • 5 of 5 stars Location
    • 3 of 5 stars Rooms
    • 4 of 5 stars Cleanliness
    • 1 of 5 stars Service
Was this review helpful? Yes 1
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Bristol, United Kingdom
Reviewer
3 reviews 3 reviews
3 hotel reviews
Reviews in 2 cities Reviews in 2 cities
1 helpful vote 1 helpful vote
2 of 5 stars Reviewed August 28, 2013

We arrived at the hotel late at night and we were starving, the staff gave us a slice of bread, a slic of cheese and a boiled egg. After we had eaten they kicked us out. So we went out to one of the bars next to the beach called Mambo bar. If you ever go to bail make sure you go to mambo it's a livly place with English music and everyone is so friendly there.
Are rooms were like a prison room! It was three bed Ian row and that was it. The bathroom was dirty, it had mould up the walls and on the Celing and the shower was just a square tile with a hose which y had to hold yourself. There was hairs on the floor in the bathroom and half way though are holiday a light bulb blew up. We asks if we could have it replaced and they did nothing about it. The pool was clean and a bit warm whic was nice. The pool side bar was a bit taty and the bar lady was sometimes quite rude also she didn't speak a word of English.
This hotel IS NOT all inclusive! The only drinks you are aloud is beer warm wine lemonade cola and ouzo, if you want any sprits or any other drinks you have to pay for them. I have never been to a hotel where you have to pay for drinks!! All the food was catered for Russians and it was the same every single night and lunch, the only thing I ate there was bread and cucumber. We ended up eating out every night because the food at Lisa Mari was just uneatable!
But on a positive note, bail is so beautiful. The beaches are lovely and sandy and the sea is like a warm bath.all the restaurants we went to were lovely. Porto Paridiso was probably the best restaurant there, it was affordable the owners were friendly and the food was lush.
I would advise you to go to bail as it is amazing but don't stay in the Lisa Mari! The bail star or the bail paradise would be a much better choice.
Also you are not aloud to get any drinks after ten o'clock, which is ridiculous. They don't even have any sprits there they are all just empty bottles of tecila and vodka Ect.
Don't go to the LISA MARI!!!!!

Room Tip: Go to another hotel!!!!
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  • Stayed August 2013, traveled with family
    • 2 of 5 stars Value
    • 5 of 5 stars Location
    • 3 of 5 stars Sleep Quality
    • 2 of 5 stars Rooms
    • 1 of 5 stars Cleanliness
    • 2 of 5 stars Service
Was this review helpful? Yes 1
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
1 review
3 helpful votes 3 helpful votes
5 of 5 stars Reviewed August 24, 2013 via mobile

We read all the reviews before we went and was very worried to say the least. We arrived late on the night and staff had plated us 8 plates of food for us all, the hotel was clean and very well presented, the staff we so polite, helpful. We went for 10 days and it was a fantastic 10 days. We had gone all inclusive and the food put on was a wide variety to cater for all tastes. The all inclusive beverages were sparse as it was only beer, soft fizzy drinks and ouzo but that suited us as its not about getting blottowed on a family holiday. I would recommend this hotel to anyone and would definitely take me family back there. A holiday is what you make it and we made it a fantastic 1. A big thank you to all staff at The Lisa Mari hotel,

  • Stayed August 2013
    • 5 of 5 stars Value
    • 5 of 5 stars Location
    • 5 of 5 stars Rooms
    • 5 of 5 stars Cleanliness
    • 5 of 5 stars Service
Was this review helpful? Yes 3
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.
Barnsley, United Kingdom
1 review
1 helpful vote 1 helpful vote
2 of 5 stars Reviewed August 11, 2013

My partner booked the Lisa Mari Hotel as a last minute holiday through an Olympic travel agent. He didn't get chance to read any reviews prior to booking so we looked at tripadvisor before we travelled, which thankfully warned us what to expect. I'll start with the food ....we booked half board so that we didn't have to spend all our holiday money on food - that was a big mistake! As mentioned in the majority of the reviews the food was very poor. EVERY evening the hot buffet consisted of spaghetti Bolognese, a fish dish that was swimming in oil, boiled rice, sliced potatoes and a meat dish in sauce. There was also a basic salad bar but not a pudding in sight!!! After the first evening we popped in each night to see if the menu had changed, but no - no variation and nothing to tempt us to eat there after the first night. Breakfast was a slightly better affair - with cereal, cold ham (I won't say Spam, but it wasn't far off) cheese and, strangely enough, chocolate cake with chocolate sauce. Maybe I should have stashed some of the breakfast for my evening pudding, lol. We were told that drinks were provided with the evening meal if we booked half board but this was disputed by the staff, so check with the bar tender first if you have been told the same.
Now the room ... we were sold this as a 3* hotel so weren't expecting the Ritz, but in reality it would be lucky to receive a 2* rating. I had a mini fridge as a bed side table which was very noisy when it turned on and off throughout the night. Every time I pulled a plug out of a socket the whole thing came out exposing bare live wires - I would be very worried if I'd had small children in the room. The shower leaked from underneath so the bathroom floor flooded each time we used it. In fact, the whole bathroom had had some serious water damage at some point because the walls were still stained and plaster bubbled. The cleanliness of the bathroom left a lot to be desired. Black mould around the tiles in the shower and on the floor - it could all have done with a good dose of bleach. When we arrived there was a pile of suspicious brown 'stuff' in the bottom of the toilet. It wouldn't flush away so after I was satisfied it wasn't anything too nasty, I put my hand down and pulled out what was actually a pile of hardened grout or sealant - not something a guest should have to do, surely?
Despite all of the above it didn't spoil our holiday because there were some positives. The bed sheets and towels were changed a couple of times during the week and the staff were friendly and helpful. The hotel is situated in a very convenient spot for the beaches, shops and bars. Although we didn't use the pool it looked clean and there was a pool bar that was actually open (not many seem to be these days). English visitors seemed to be in the minority but this didn't pose a problem - in fact well done to the staff for dealing with the broad mix of non-English speaking guests.
Bali (pronounced Balee, not Barli) itself is very picturesque and although fairly quiet, there are plenty of tavernas and bars that stay open late. No live singers/dancers though that you would normally get in holiday resorts, that would have made it a bit more entertaining. We took a bus ride to Heraklion and a boat trip to Rethymno, both worth a visit if you get bored with Bali. In fact, if we were to visit Crete again we would most likely stay in Rethymno. We did in fact spend all our holiday money on food and drink, but hey, that's what its all about in the end isn't it?

Room Tip: Higher floors will cut out some of the general noise. We were on the ground floor beside the main w...
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  • Stayed August 2013, traveled as a couple
    • 2 of 5 stars Value
    • 5 of 5 stars Location
    • 1 of 5 stars Sleep Quality
    • 1 of 5 stars Rooms
    • 2 of 5 stars Cleanliness
    • 3 of 5 stars Service
Was this review helpful? Yes 1
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.

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Additional Information about Hotel Lisa Mari Beach

Address: Bali, Bali, Crete, Greece
Location: Greece > Crete > Rethymnon Prefecture > Bali
Amenities:
Bar / Lounge Free Parking Restaurant Swimming Pool Wheelchair access
Hotel Style:
Ranked #6 of 9 hotels in Bali
Price Range (Based on Average Rates): $
Hotel Class:3 star — Hotel Lisa Mari Beach 3*
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Also Known As:
Lisa Mari Beach Bali
Hotel Lisa Mari Beach Bali, Crete

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