This is my complaint to Jet2 after my return from this resort.
The room
On check in we were given our room details, Room 101 (how appropriate) and taken to a 'block' which was called the Miraluna Garden. This block was at the far rear of the hotel and totally separated from the rest of the blocks/hotel by a local road, which we could have dealt with, but the room was basically in a basement. To get to it you had to descend four flights of stairs. The block did have a lift...but it had no buttons that allowed its use, I assume it was a staff only lift (or only accessible to Jedi Knights using the force). Our 'patio' had the lovely view of some kind of electricity unit and what I can only assume was a filtration tank system above it also a lovely drainage pipe to the side.
The bathroom was frankly terrifying as an exposed wire was protruding from the wall inside the bath/shower area. For conformation of all these problems please see pictures numbered IMAG01, IMAG02, IMAG03, IMAG04.
We eventually found out from a member of staff that this block was usually reserved for polish guests only (we were the only English in this block) and on request of another room we were told the hotel was full and none were available.
The food
I'm not sure where to start with this, but spaghetti bolognese seems a good place, as it was on the menu for lunch and evening meals every single day. Everyone understands all inclusive food can get repetitive but this really was totally unacceptable. The famous bolognese, salad, bread and occasionally rice seemed to be the only recognisable dish on offer, and there wasn't much more anyway. The quality and choice of food was appalling, especially the meats, which the whole hotel dubbed 'mystery meat' as there was no signs to tell you what it was, and they were usually swimming in a sauce that wasn't identifiable either, unless you count the cockroach type beetles that were a frequent side order, please see IMAG05. Now as a family none of us are picky eaters and even my ten year old son is willing to try most things, but after pulling out what can only be described as a knee cap from some animal was totally put off. The choice of food for children was virtually non existent, occasional fries, and on two or three occasions fish fingers or chicken nuggets. Ice cream (i use this term lightly) was available in the children's pool area, it was foul, basically a frosty watered down horrid cheap nasty version of ice cream, and a box of cones that were crushed to beyond use 90% of the time and were just left out in the open.
Advertised on booking this holiday was a snack bar and your description states 'snacks at selected time between meals' this is a lie. The snack bar was closed and never once opened the whole two week stay, except maybe for the rat that was spotted and chased on two separate evenings, unfortunately/thankfully I do not have photographic evidence of this as he was a tad too quick!
We tried every single 'food area' in the hotel, the two main restaurants and the Taverna and all the food was the same, except for one lunch time when the Taverna served up a not so delightful combination of pasta, tomato sauce and sprouts!? Oh and bolognese sauce obviously. The 'a la carte' restaraunt was frankly a joke as it was EXACTLY the same food served on different tablecloths!
In the end we resorted to ordering a couple of takeaways from a local cafe.
The Staff
Now when I say staff, on a whole I refer to management. They were totally unwilling to help with many requests and we had to furiously argue to get what was expected.
The main evening being when the entertainment staff went on strike as they hadn't been paid for four months. Now this is understandable, I too wouldn't feel like working for nothing either, but the problem was that on this particular day they had been extremely active around the pool areas advertising the 'Amazing Fire Show' telling the children especially how fantastic it was and don't miss it kids etc etc, this went on all day. Unfortunately the show didn't go on! The entire Amphitheatre was packed, everyone had taken push chairs and all their family down to watch the show, the children's disco finished, the lights went down...and never came back on. The entertainment staff sat at the top of the steps. When approached by a young girl and an adult they were told ''no money no honey'' and to complain at reception...to add insult to injury they had all been drinking. When complaints to the hotel reception were made by at least 30+ guests the management eventually appeared and said they couldn't do anything as they had separate bosses for the entertainment staff.
Face painting, this was done in the bar area next to the children's playground on an evening, on two occasions child waited in line only to be told when got to the front that 'sorry finished now' so on the third attempt we made sure that he was near the front, when it was his turn the girl doing the face painting asked if he was Russian, no we replied, why? to the response 'I only do Russian children'. Now this as I'm sure you will agree was totally and utterly disgusting. How do you tell a child he cant have his face painted because the girl was discriminating against his nationality?? A total disgrace. So off to complain yet again.
The culminating evening for disgraceful behaviour came when, yet again the entertainment staff, were putting on a 'UV' show. One male member of the team came up to the bar area and announced to our table that we have to go down and watch as he was turning the lights off in the bar. Now pardon me but we thought we were on holiday and could choose to spend our evenings as we pleased. We told him sorry but no we would be staying there, and to leave lights on, this was met by 'no, the lights will be off'. Now this was infuriating as our friend had a child asleep in his pushchair, we explained this only to be told again 'no, lights off'. The show started and all lights were turned off....so yet again a furious visit all the way up to reception had to be taken. They did turn the lights back on in the bar eventually, but to be put through this on what should be a fun relaxing two weeks was beyond a joke. Your website advertises this hotel ' the Miraluna Kiotari Bay is perfect for couples and families.' this is as far from the truth as I have ever seen.
The Hotel
Payphones: Not usable as they hadn't paid the bill and we lost money for the message over the phone to tell us this.
Drinks: Frequently out of all basic alcoholic drinks. Now this was ridiculous as the only drinks on offer were; warm wine, flat beer, Vodka, Gin, Rum or Ouzo. The orange squash was so sweet and sickly even the kids didn't like it!
Prices: The prices in the shop were extortionate beyond belief. We all expect a little over pricing but not to the extent of £30 for a cheap lilo which burst after two days (just one example).
Dangerous window: A little girl fell through a huge glass window that was part of the children's game room. The poor thing had to have her arms and legs bandaged up. If this wasn't bad enough they didn't bother to properly clear away the glass around the frame area or cordon it off so that kids couldn't get near it, see pictures IMAG06 & IMAG07. My son wanted to play air hockey a few days later so I took him in only to discover a chunk of glass on the air hockey table! I wish id had my camera for that!
Lighting: The area around the play area had no lighting at all, it was severely difficult for the children to enjoy themselves of an evening.
Pathways leading to the Amphitheatre were treacherous as they were raised crazy paving style and it was pitch black. Getting there with push chairs or children was a nightmare.
This hotel could be so much more than it is, if only the management took extra care to help the guests and stopped trying to cut corners with the most essential of things like food! I highly recommend that you do not damage your reputations by selling this place in future. We ended up spending €700, as opposed to the £300 spending money we took with us for expected little luxuries in and out of the hotel.
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC.