There is nothing wrong with Oakland. Leave it to a person from San Francisco to give us a bad rap. :)
That being said, the hotels in Oakland around the airport are really lackluster. What I highly recommend you do is look at a hotel in Alameda or San Leandro. Both towns offer great options a short distance from the airport. That way you can rest up, have a leisurely morning, and then drive up to Napa after breakfast.
You should seriously consider the San Leandro Marina Inn (http://www.sanleandromarinainn.com). It's a nice property in a beautiful, peaceful setting right on the bay. They offer free breakfast, Wi-Fi, parking, and bicycles--the latter perfect for a morning ride around the marina before heading out of town. There is a free airport shuttle too, but unfortunately it doesn't run past 10 PM.
If the San Leandro Marina Inn isn't to your liking, the nearby Hampton Inn & Suites (http://www.oaklandairporthi.com) in Alameda may be worth considering. The hotel is near the water but in more of a business park setting. Nonetheless, it's a good spot to refresh before the drive up to Napa.
FYI, since there are at least 3 of you, I would not worry about driving the next day. You get to use the carpool lanes, which are in effect until 10 AM. If you don't mind staying at your hotel until 9, traffic will be light most of the way there. You might experience a little slowing on 880 before the Bay Bridge, but the trek up 80 to Vallejo (and then on 37 and 29 the rest of the way to Napa) should be problem-free.