I wouldn't call either of these place stuffy. The main decision you have to make is on location. Highlands Inn is about 5 miles south of Carmel on Hwy 1. There are restaurants onsite, but you can't walk anywhere as it situated on a hill above the highway. Views are terrific, and it takes less than 10 minutes to get to Carmel. Quail is located in Carmel Valley, about 20 minutes from Carmel. Two advantages: it's warmer and sunnier in the valley and July can be a very foggy time on the coast; and Quail has a pool, which you'd be more inclined to use as it can get quite hot out there in July. So, if you want to be close in to town, then the Highlands. If you want more sunshine and a bit more seclusion, then Quail. Another place you might like is the Monterey Plaza Hotel. It's located on the quiet end of Cannery Row, so it's close to everything but not in the thick of things. It's on the water, and they have balcony rooms. I don't think there is anything that is quite as upscale as the Four Seasons, but these are nice places. You could also look at Bernardus Lodge in Carmel Valley.

Thanks--great suggestions and stuff I wouldn't find out searching on my own. Thanks for consolidating my information overload---Now that I know both are good w/families--I just have to figure out which meet our needs better. I'll also check out the other 2 you suggested.

Bernardus Lodge is a beautiful property in Carmel Valley. We haven't stayed there but loved the property when we had lunch at Wickets, this would be my first choice in Carmel Valley.

We have stayed at the Highland's Inn many times and I would highly recommend it. You will be very pampered here and the big plus is the gorgeous oceanviews from the rooms. These rooms would be perfect for your family as they have a living area with sleeper sofa, a fully stocked kitchen, balconies and some have 2 person jacuzzi tubs. The grounds are gorgeous here, there is also a nice outdoor pool area here and a couple of outdoor hot tubs. The restaurants at the Highland's Inn are fantastic, the California Market would be perfect for the kids, they offer a nice varied menu, we love the Fish Tacos here.

I hope you get to stay and at the Highland's, it is also very close to Pt. Lobos State Reserve, a fun place to spend the day or afternoon. Enjoy the coast! :)

We are staying at the Highlands--thanks for the info

We just returned from a stay next door at the Tickle Pink Inn, try to have a meal at the Pacific's Edge restaurant at the Highland's. We had a lovely dinner there last Fri. night, we were seated at a table with gorgeous oceanviews, we caught the sunset nad everything we had was delicious and beautifully presented. Service was very professional, after dinner we enjoyed relaxing in the lobby listening to the musicians before walking back to our inn for a soak in the terraced hot tub. Enjoy! :)