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Anyone leaving young kids/kids behind?

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Ays08
posts: 141
reviews: 6
Anyone leaving young kids/kids behind?

So, we're only 46 days out from our vacation at CSA, and while I am absolutely ecstatic and looking forward to the couples-only time, I am also kind of sad... We're leaving our kids, including our ten month old son, behind with grandma while we go and it's making me anxious! It's the first time I'll be spending any time away from the baby and I know I'm going to miss him soooo much!

We were originally planning a family friendly vacay to Mexico instead but we've been under a lot of stress and had temporary custody of three extra kids... So with five total kids running around the house, it's putting a strain on everything and we definitely need some alone time!

Anyone else leaving their kids behind, or have experience leaving their babies who can offer an "it's all going to be okay?" Intellectually, I know he'll be fine (not worried about the older kids) but the mommy part of me worries about what he will eat, if he'll think we abandoned him, if he will know who we are when we get home, etc!

America, The...
posts: 3,623
reviews: 51
41. Re: Anyone leaving young kids/kids behind?

Too_Cold,

Not sure if you are disturbed by the same judgements I was in that statement above, but the assumptions are that her son will have a wife (i.e. be heterosexual and choose to marry) and will choose and be able to have children. Hope he fits neatly into the little box she has put him in because so many children do not when they reach adulthood. And, guess what, they don't feel quite as close to those same parents whom they feel are not accepting of them. And even if he does have a wife and children, assuming he will make the exact same choices as his parents seems horribly arrogant and narrow-minded to me. I do feel sorry for this smothered boy.

Regina, Canada
posts: 1,962
reviews: 5
42. Re: Anyone leaving young kids/kids behind?

RM - I am pretty sure we were both disturbed by the same comments.

Virginia
posts: 2,446
reviews: 106
43. Re: Anyone leaving young kids/kids behind?

We love our family vacations, but we also love our couples only vacations. Our kids know that we need our private time, just like they like their private time as well. It's healthy to make couple time a priority, the experts have known that for years - it helps solidify your relationship. If you do everything as a family, what will you do when that child leaves home? Your life will be upside down when you're empty nesters and I hope your relationship is strong enough to withstand that.

Our kids loved visiting grandparents while we went on couples only trips, and the grandparents loved having the kids there for a week. In fact, they complained that it wasn't long enough! They love to spoil the kids when mom & dad aren't around to stop it. There's nothing that can replace one on one time with grandparents. It's very different from the child-parent relationship.

Our kids are also well traveled, but I would think that almost everyone who posts here has well traveled kids. But they don't need to go on every trip, that's for sure. It doesn't make you a bad parent to leave them behind - it makes you a smart parent who is nurturing your marriage to make sure it stays healthy. It's nice to be the wife sometimes and not the mom, that's something that's very easy to forget.

Chambersburg...
posts: 1,186
reviews: 29
44. Re: Anyone leaving young kids/kids behind?

The bottom line for me is that I want my children to feel just as safe, loved and cared for regardless of the situation. I don't feel the need to include them in EVERYTHING and take them EVERYWHERE just so they feel apart of the family or close to us. The bond of family is something that should surpass even the greatest distances. I feel great knowing my son knows we love him and he is safe and well cared for rather he is with us or in the care of a trusted friend/family member.

And as many others have pointed out here as well, I am not just a mother but a wife, and a woman. Adults need time to play too. Thats why the occasional kidless trip to an amusement park, or movies with friends or a night of dancing or the occasional couples only vacation is just what helps keep your sanity as a parent and the spark in your marriage alive.

Coquitlam, Canada
posts: 71
reviews: 15
45. Re: Anyone leaving young kids/kids behind?

Again once a family always a family even as it grows larger, we will go together as one big happy family and I will love to watch my grand children playing on the beaches where ever we go together as a family...no judgemental attitude here, just one very close happy family...so wrong again!

TN
posts: 1,049
reviews: 4
46. Re: Anyone leaving young kids/kids behind?

"...Sucks to be your kids!...."

"...Dump and run"...."

".no judgemental attitude here, ..."

Emphasis on ' judgeMENTAL'

Saskatoon, Canada
posts: 1,788
reviews: 44
47. Re: Anyone leaving young kids/kids behind?

SuzieQ, I take it then that you, your husband and son never travel without your parents, his parents, and any siblings? From what you say, you wouldn't dream of doing it any different. That must be difficult to coordinate, or do you all live in the same house?

If your son gets married, there is a good chance that his spouse will not go along with your expectations. I hope that he's not put in a position where he feels he needs to choose between his spouse and you.

Marion, Iowa
posts: 616
reviews: 12
48. Re: Anyone leaving young kids/kids behind?

That was my thought too. The daughter in law may want some alone time with her husband. Then the kids go to her parents??

Virginia
posts: 2,446
reviews: 106
49. Re: Anyone leaving young kids/kids behind?

... or your son may have his own ideas as he gets older, what will you do then? Our 17 year old son can be frustrating at times, but I love the fact that he has his own opinions and is confident in them. I know our son will survive in the real world and not rely on his parents for every little decision. I don't understand helicoptor parents who never allow the kids away from their side or who control every aspect of their kid's lives.

What happens if someone gets sick at the last minute and misses the family trip? It sounds like they would be shunned.

America, The...
posts: 3,623
reviews: 51
50. Re: Anyone leaving young kids/kids behind?

She has about 150 moms (me included) who want to punch her, but I'm now thinking, don't feed the troll.