I know that this is a long story, but it is quite unbelievable, especially after reading all the great reviews about this guesthouse. Bare with me, it will amuse you. We were looking for a short notice Saturday night B&B in Eastbourne. As the weather was good rooms were running short, but I saw that The Vernon had a “luxury suite” available for £190. This was more than I wanted to spend, but I phoned the hotel directly at the last minute and managed to get a bit of a deal. However, I was expecting to find a room worth £190 or there about (twice the price of The Premier Inn which is virtually opposite) We arrived at about 6.30, checked in and went up to our “luxury suite”. It consisted of 2 rooms, one had a settee, a tv and an old table, the other a four poster bed, 2 bedside tables, an old dressing table and a rail for your clothes (no wardrobe) with a tv, hairdryer and kettle. It did not have, clock, fridge, phone or safe as I would expect for that price. The shower room was a boxed in part of the lounge area. So, we switched on the tv, and it didn’t work. I tested the hairdryer in the plug and it worked, and I realised that the red light was not on - indicating that there was no power. So I went to call reception and remembered that there was no phone, so I didn’t bother. I went for a shower and noticed that the fan did not work, I checked the isolator and it was “ON” so I went to call reception and remembered that there is no phone, so I didn’t bother. I had a very steamy shower, and got ready to leave. We decided to inform reception on our way out. We went down to reception and there was nobody around, so I pushed the bell for attention a few times and nobody comes, at this point someone else was hanging around watching me press the bell. We left, and walked just down the road to the restaurant for 8pm. We enjoyed our meal and returned to the guesthouse. We did not get a very good night’s sleep, due to the paper-thin walls and the guest in the next room snoring. We did get off to sleep at about 6.30, when the other guest got up for a shower. So we woke up at about 8.30 (which is late for us) and I wondered what time breakfast ends, as I thought checkout starts at 10am. We looked all over the room, but there was no info anywhere. So, I went to call reception and remembered that there was no phone. I looked on the website, again no info. Okay, I thought, I will phone the guesthouse on my mobile – No answer, it switched to answerphone. We decided that it was possibly a 9 o’clock finish for breakfast and rush downstairs. So far, it has not been fantastic, but the problems are niggles more than problems, but it now starts getting worse. We ordered breakfast and I had a full English which was quite acceptable and my wife had egg and bacon. As she finished her last mouthful of food, before she had put her cutlery down, the waiter said “shall I take your plate?” She politely asked him to wait until we have both finished eating (it’s a “thing” with her family) “Okay” said the waiter and then when I finish, he and the waitress completely ignored us and our empty plates for half an hour. After I had finished eating, people sat at the table near us, and they were served and cleared away, while our plates still weren’t touched. We left the breakfast room with the plates still on the table. Basil Fawlty would have been proud I thought. Anyway, as we left the breakfast room we spotted the owner. I mentioned to him that the tv and the fan in the room did not work. “I’d be surprised” he said without a hint of apology. “The tv is probably not plugged in!” So I told him that I had checked the plug and the hairdryer worked in that plug, “No” he said “it’s not very old” “and the fan is very quiet” he said. I told him that it was not working, as I could see the fan blades not moving, and it was not extracting the steam. “I’d be surprised” he said.... He then told me that someone had probably switched off the isolator, but of course I had checked that. “Was it working last night?” he asked, and we told him that it wasn’t. “Well, why didn’t you tell me last night? He asked. So I told him that I rang the bell at 7.50 and nobody came. “I’d be surprised” he insisted, “I was here all evening, so I would have seen you.” I decided that there was no point in arguing and went to head back to the room, when my wife mentioned to him that she was looking for breakfast times in the suite and the guest info sheet was missing. “No” he said “we don’t put information sheets in the room as it annoys people.” she told him that putting the breakfast and checkout times in the room could hardly be annoying especially as there is no phone in the room. So he points out that most people have mobile phones, and they could phone the hotel. “I did phone the hotel” I say “but there was no answer”. He asks me about the time and I say “8.50” ...... “I’d be surprised” he says, “because I was here, so you can’t have phoned!” I got out my mobile phone, and it showed that I called the guesthouse at 8.49 and was connected for 34 seconds. “No, that’s not right.” Was his reply. We were now wondering about all the reviews which say how friendly and helpful the owners are, because we had a number of issues, and there was not even a whiff of an apology, in fact I was basically told that I was lying about the tv, fan, pushing the reception bell, and phoning the hotel. Even though, my phone showed details of the call. To put the icing on the cake, as we were leaving the owner calls out “Hey you!” so we stopped. “You did not push the bell last night. I’ve checked the cctv.” “Yes I did.” I told him. So he offered to show me the video of 7.30 to 8pm and I accepted. We all watched the cctv, and I did not appear. Very strange, so we look at other cameras, and I still did not appear. “Also, you did not phone this morning because there was no message!” I showed him my phone again as proof, but he just sneered at it. Suddenly we realised that the clock on the cctv was an hour out. At this point the owner decides to go for his breakfast and leave his long suffering daughter to handle the video. Sure enough, there I am pushing the bell, and the other guests continue to push the bell after me for a full 5 minutes before he shows himself. Finally, I now have proof that I did push the bell, and did phone the guesthouse, so I tell the owner that his clock on his cctv is wrong and it does show me pushing the bell...... His reply...... “OK, bye.” Goodbye Mr Fawlty I thought.... and good riddance. Lastly, in the spirit of fairness, to the owner’s poor daughter I will say that the building is centrally located, and is quite impressive to look at, as it has been recently decorated on the outside, and the inside including our suite. It was very clean, outside and inside, including the room, and bathroom (which was also recently refurbished)…